To say I’m reliant on my phone is quite the understatement. Balancing a full-time job that stretches from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and managing a blog with a substantial following keeps me busy. Whenever I’m not replying to employees or colleagues, I’m working on my blog. There are times when, without my phone, I’d be trapped in my office instead of attending my son’s sports practice or my daughter’s dance class. I know this all too well.
Don’t get me wrong—I cherish the opportunity to spend time with my family while fulfilling my work responsibilities. But this often translates to being only half present at home, answering my kids’ questions with half-hearted responses, not truly engaging in what’s happening around me.
This is especially evident at the dinner table, where my wife, Sarah, frequently catches me sneaking glances at my phone, hidden below the table like a high schooler trying to check social media during class. (Do teens still use Twitter? Maybe it’s Snapchat these days? Regardless, it doesn’t matter.) I always think she won’t notice, but she always does.
When I’m distracted at the dinner table, Sarah acts as though I’m committing a major offense, and she’s likely right. I’ve had her lean across the table and whisper, “If you don’t put that away, I might just toss it in the toilet.” That straight-faced look from her is enough to shake anyone to their core.
I know better, yet it can be tough to put that device down. And let’s not pretend she’s completely innocent. There have been countless times when she’s said “yes” to our kids’ demands without fully listening while engrossed in a game on her phone.
If I had to rate our phone habits, I’d be a solid 10 on the addiction scale, while she might be closer to a 6.
I recognize that I’m not alone in this struggle. Many parents find themselves glued to their devices. Go to a park and observe—most parents are busy on their phones while their kids play. The same is true at gymnastics practices and soccer matches.
I’m not judging anyone; I’m right there with you. To complicate matters, my former therapist suggested I reduce my phone use not just for my family’s sake, but to help manage my anxiety and depression. According to her, excessive social media consumption can significantly contribute to mental health issues.
So, I’ve decided to make a change. I won’t abandon my phone completely (my job requires it), but I will prioritize unplugging more frequently this year. I plan to leave it in the bedroom during dinner, keep it in my pocket at the park, and turn it off during family time, like watching our favorite shows together.
By minimizing distractions, I hope to cultivate patience and become more engaged. I want to be truly present in my children’s lives. Reflecting on the future, I don’t want to look back and see a series of moments overshadowed by my phone when my kids needed my attention.
I know someone might comment about living without a smartphone or social media, and that’s fantastic for them. But for me, I love my phone. I just understand that I need to love it a little less to make the most of my time with my family.
If you relate to my situation and often feel the urge to reach for your phone, consider joining me in setting it aside during certain parts of the day. Whether it’s dinner time, family playtime, or bedtime, try putting it in another room or even turning it off. It doesn’t have to be a drastic change; even small steps can lead to a more fulfilling time with loved ones.
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In summary, recognizing our dependence on technology is the first step toward fostering deeper connections with our families. By intentionally setting aside our phones during crucial moments, we can create lasting memories and a more engaged family life.