Navigating the world of parenting has been quite the journey for me, and it’s taken extensive therapy to reach this point. While everyone warned me that raising kids comes without a manual—and they were absolutely correct—I’ve realized that children are not as complicated as adults. Kids primarily need love, nourishment, and a good nap.
It’s the grown-ups who present the real challenge. If only they came with instructions! This realization drove me to therapy, which turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve spent countless hours unpacking my feelings, trying to understand the people who have hurt me, and learning to let go of past grievances.
Yet, there’s one group of people I can’t seem to comprehend or forgive: those who have completely ignored my children. My therapist tells me this is not uncommon, and I can’t fathom how such individuals live with themselves.
I know I shouldn’t waste my energy on this, but I feel compelled to express my frustration. So to those who vanished from my life after I welcomed my little ones, I have to ask: What were you thinking?
Do you genuinely think you can profess love for someone throughout their life and then disappear when they step into parenthood? Do you expect me to believe you cared while my heart swells for my children, whom you completely overlook? If being part of my life wasn’t your desire, that’s understandable. I’m not perfect—my humor can be grating, and I’m notoriously late. Yet, you chose to stick around through it all until my first child was born. Why the sudden disengagement?
Initially, it hurt. I longed to share my joy with you and introduce you to the incredible human I had created. Look at this beautiful life I brought into the world! But the calls went unanswered, and visits were never planned. I’m not asking you to create a scrapbook of my kids, but a little acknowledgment would have meant so much. After all, they are my children, and you claimed to love me.
No, I’m not hurt anymore. I’ve moved past that. The truth is, if you are too self-centered to recognize the joy my kids bring, that’s your loss. And it is a monumental loss.
You’ve missed so much. My son has a laugh that echoes joyfully, and his hugs can brighten anyone’s day. His humor is sharp, and nothing compares to a toddler’s well-timed joke—he’s a little comedic genius. As for my daughter, she is a whirlwind of energy, exploring the world one small adventure at a time. Her footsteps are like music to my ears, and if you’re missing out on that, well, that’s quite unfortunate for you.
If you chose to exit my life when my children arrived, you left before the best part of the show. You took your overpriced souvenir T-shirt and left during intermission. I honestly feel sorry for you because these kids have so much love to share.
After much reflection and therapy, I’m clear about my feelings. To those former friends and family members who ghosted when my children entered the world: If you don’t care enough to get to know the remarkable kids I’m raising, then you simply don’t deserve to be part of their lives. It’s that straightforward.
I hope you find happiness in your life, because we certainly will.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the emotional toll of being ignored by friends and family after becoming a parent. The author expresses frustration over those who vanished when her children came into the world, emphasizing that they are missing out on the joy and love her kids bring. Ultimately, the author advocates for recognizing the value of the new family dynamics and suggests that those who choose to disengage don’t deserve to be part of their lives.