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I’m Not Giving My Kids an Allowance or Paying Them to Clean Up After Themselves
by Emily Carter
Updated: March 19, 2021
Originally Published: January 6, 2018
I’m quite behind when it comes to giving my kids an allowance; my eldest is already eleven, and we haven’t adopted that practice. Neither of my children receives money for cleaning their rooms, loading the dishwasher, or picking up the endless array of toys and clothes that clutter our home. After years of threatening to toss their belongings into garbage bags, they now comply with my requests because they understand that my patience can rapidly turn into a cleaning frenzy.
Paying them for these tasks now would feel like a backward step.
I recognize the importance of teaching my children the value of money, responsibility, and saving, but truthfully, I’m still navigating those lessons myself. Experts suggest that I should give my kids a set amount each week, let’s say five dollars. However, this money isn’t for chores, as chores are simply part of family life. So, I suppose the allowance is just for being a kid?
According to these specialists, children learn to save their allowance for items like bikes or musical instruments, or in my daughter’s case, perhaps a giant vat of paint to swim in. I understand this perspective—kids need to grasp the worth of things and recognize that money is a tangible asset. They should save rather than impulsively splurge on trendy boots they see online.
However, in our household, the exchange of money often looks like this, thanks to our laid-back approach:
Me: “I’ll give you a dollar if you bike over to the neighbors to grab some eggs.”
Kid: “Sure!”
Then we both forget about the dollar until we’re at a store, and my child suddenly remembers it, leading to me purchasing random items like markers or index cards. Parenting experts would probably be horrified by my approach. I’m likely failing at this whole parenting thing.
I didn’t grow up receiving an allowance, partly because I lived in a remote area with no places to spend money. You don’t need cash to have fun on hay bales. The items I desired—bikes, instruments, clothes—were gifts for birthdays or holidays. This could explain my casual attitude towards allowances and finances. I did work every summer from the age of fourteen, tackling grueling jobs like washing dishes at a local restaurant. I learned early on that if I wanted a better life, I needed to pursue higher education.
I understand that giving my children an allowance could help them learn about money management. Still, I lack the organization to consistently hand over a set amount each week or tally the dollar values for completing chores. I admit it: I’m just not cut out for that. My kids might need to find jobs, like I did, to learn these lessons the hard way—perhaps scrubbing dishes in a restaurant kitchen while trying to hold back their lunch.
Sometimes, I wish I were a more responsible adult—able to tackle all the grown-up tasks experts suggest, like maintaining a clean car, organizing my kitchen, and paying bills punctually. Just the other day, I accidentally washed a potato in my laundry. How does that even happen?
Yes, I probably need to improve my financial education efforts for my kids. And yes, I should learn more about money management myself. I’m a work in progress. Teaching them the value of a dollar is a gift I could provide, potentially helping them avoid issues like an Amazon shopping addiction or anxiety when they step into Target.
But for now, I won’t be compensating my children for tasks that are part of being a family member. Not because experts say I should do otherwise, but simply because I don’t want to.
This article was originally published on January 6, 2018.
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In summary, I’ve opted not to give my children an allowance or pay them for chores, focusing instead on the life lessons that come with being part of a family. While I acknowledge the need for financial education, I’m still figuring it out myself and prefer to instill values through experience rather than monetary incentives.