This past weekend, I celebrated my 35th birthday with a soothing massage, a few precious hours of solitude, followed by gift opening with my husband and kids, and indulging in some delectable cake. It was a stark contrast to the birthday bashes I enjoyed in my mid-20s, where late-night outings with friends were the norm—back when we were blissfully unaware of hangovers and the looming costs of preschool.
Now, my preference leans toward quieter, more intimate celebrations at home. This shift reflects the reality of my life today, where my focus is on raising my young children and seizing the scant moments of peace I can find. This is precisely why I find it challenging to forge new friendships—beyond my inherent awkwardness, the process of making mom friends can often feel frustrating. Simply put, my schedule is packed, leaving little room for cultivating new relationships, and I often struggle to keep up with my existing friends.
I can’t count how many times I’ve suggested getting together, only to falter on those plans due to my poor follow-through. With kids aged 3 and 5, exhaustion is my constant companion. Nowadays, my idea of socializing involves relaxing on the couch while catching up with friends through texts or social media. This allows me the flexibility to be present for my children while still engaging in conversations—plus, I get to do it all while not wearing pants. It’s a win-win.
I genuinely value my friends; they are the family I’ve chosen over the years, standing by me through thick and thin. However, even these cherished relationships often take a back seat to my primary responsibilities as a mother and, yes, as a somewhat distracted wife. Whether I meet another mom at the park or through a school function, I know the chances of forming a new friendship are slim. My emotional bandwidth is already stretched thin.
If you’re looking to go out for margaritas on a school night, the reality is that I’ll be busy with homework, dinner preparations, and catching up on work that slipped through the cracks during the day. A Friday night outing? That’s when my husband and I splurge on a babysitter, aiming for a few hours of adult conversation—without the kids chiming in. As for weekends, that’s reserved for family time, and I often relish the moments when I can escape the need for conversation altogether.
There may come a time when my children start sleeping through the night, giving me the energy and time to nurture new friendships. Until then, my priorities revolve around being a good mother and a decent spouse (sorry, John), while I hoard any moments of solitude I can find.
So, if you want to connect, feel free to text me anytime. Just understand that in-person hangouts might be on hold for a while. Unless you’re up for a movie—where silence is golden—I’m likely to keep things low-key for the foreseeable future.
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In summary, my life is currently focused on my family, and while I cherish the friendships I have, I’m not in a place to form new ones. My energy is devoted to motherhood, and I embrace the quiet moments that come my way.