The holiday season can sometimes bring out the worst in people. It’s puzzling, isn’t it? Even more baffling is how some parents treat their children as if they aren’t even individuals deserving of respect.
I have a love-hate relationship with Christmas. While I cherish the joy of making the season special for my children, from baking cookies to setting up festive decorations, I find myself feeling down during this time. This year, we’re keeping things low-key. After my daughter’s recent play, which was a whirlwind, and the end of my semester, I’m embracing a more relaxed approach to the holidays. Whatever we accomplish will be enough.
However, I still feel disheartened by the way many parents act during this festive season. I’ve always been vocal about my disagreements with conventional parenting methods, but my frustrations peak around Christmas.
For instance, I recently came across the concept of “present jail.” In a viral social media post, one mother shared an image of a cardboard box filled with gifts, stating that any presents left in the box by Christmas would only be earned back through good behavior. She emphasized that presents are a privilege, not a right. This approach deeply troubles me.
I often think about how many times I can reiterate, “Let’s treat our kids with kindness.” My hope is that someone, somewhere, might resonate with my message and rethink their approach.
The idea of making children ‘earn’ their gifts is fundamentally flawed and contrary to the spirit of giving. Gifts should be given freely, without conditions or expectations. When you withhold a gift as punishment, it loses its meaning, turning into a mere object rather than an expression of love. It’s essential to understand that this type of treatment towards children is unacceptable.
Why do we only impose such conditions on kids? Would you ever hold back a gift from your partner or close friend because they had a bad day? That would be unthinkable. So why is it acceptable to do so to our children? They are still learning and navigating their emotions. They require our support and guidance, especially during a time that should symbolize love and generosity.
Imagine the mixed signals we send when we teach children that they must earn what should be given freely. Terms like “naughty” only add to the confusion. Our kids are simply trying to figure things out; they don’t need punishment or shame, they need understanding and support.
I admit I’ve had moments this past month where I haven’t acted perfectly. But let’s remember, our children are not perfect either. They deserve our compassion, and yes, they deserve our generosity—whether that’s through time spent together, meaningful experiences, or gifts they’ve longed for. The act of giving should feel fulfilling, not like a power play.
We are meant to love unconditionally, showing our children that they are valued and supported. They need to know they can count on us, especially when life feels overwhelming.
This Christmas, I urge you to treat your children with the same respect and kindness you would want for yourself. Remember, they are people too. No one would appreciate having their cherished belongings taken away over a minor annoyance.
Let’s embrace the true spirit of the season and show our kids that love is the greatest gift of all.