There was a time when I prioritized regular haircuts and perfectly manicured nails. A time when my wardrobe consisted of stylish outfits rather than the yoga pants, caps, and well-loved cotton tees that now dominate my closet. I remember when my lingerie was matching, lacy, and not hastily picked from the Target clearance rack before the school bell rang.
Once, my figure was youthful and firm, allowing me to skip the undergarments meant to support structures as sturdy as the Golden Gate Bridge. I wore bikinis with carefree abandon, grabbing whatever fit without a second thought. My body was fit and toned, with no hint of the C-section scars or extra pounds accumulated from sneaking bites of my children’s meals.
But that time has long since passed, and I must admit it feels like ages ago. I used to feel confident in my nudity. Now, however, I don’t quite share that sentiment. Despite these changes, my partner still desires me intimately. He insists that I still hold the same allure to him, that I haven’t changed as much as I think.
Yet, we both know that isn’t entirely true. A glance at the stretch marks on my thighs or the visible C-section scar reveals the honesty of my transformation. Regardless of the weight I gained from motherhood and the curves that came with it, he still embraces me tenderly, raising an eyebrow and playfully asking, “You in the mood?” just as often, if not more so, than when we first discovered each other’s bodies.
He has the ability to see past my insecurities and appreciate the essence of who I am. Over the years, our intimacy has evolved into something deeper, rooted in emotional connection rather than just physical attraction. While my past underwear drawer resembled a Victoria’s Secret catalog, I’ve learned that those intricate pieces often end up discarded on the floor. Nowadays, my yoga pants do the same.
Candlelit nights have been replaced with quick, stolen moments, often dictated by nap schedules or early bedtimes for the kids. Nevertheless, even as we resemble an older couple with our softer bodies and receding hairlines, we still share intimate moments.
This isn’t to say we’ve abandoned our health or neglected to keep things exciting. We both make an effort to stay active, trying to defy the aging process as best we can. However, we know that gravity has other plans for us. His six-pack has vanished, and I can only anticipate where my figure will be in the years to come.
But that’s perfectly okay. We are comfortable in our “bad naked” phase, united in our acceptance of the changes that come with time. This acceptance is liberating and refreshing. Embracing our imperfect bodies allows us to share a more honest and open dialogue about our intimacy. I find immense joy in knowing I have a partner who accepts me, flaws and all.
He has witnessed me at my most vulnerable, through childbirth and beyond, and still finds me desirable. He’s seen the struggles of motherhood and still greets me with a cheeky “Hey, gorgeous,” as I walk into the room. Our “good naked” days may be behind us, but I am thrilled to discover that our “bad naked” is the best kind of naked.
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Summary
This article reflects on how physical changes over time can impact intimacy in a relationship. Despite these changes, a deep emotional connection remains, emphasizing the importance of acceptance and humor in navigating the journey of love and parenthood.