I’m not exactly sure when it occurred, but it did. The transformation was so gradual that it could easily be overlooked. Sometimes, when I gaze at you, I can still picture that little boy with the bright eyes and crumbs on his face so vividly that I’m taken aback by the deeper voice emerging from you. Who is this young man? Where did my little boy go? It feels like he was just here.
These reflections are rare. You’ve been growing up and distancing yourself from me for several years now—ever since you entered this world, in fact. The shifts were so subtle that they often went unnoticed until one day, it hit me: my little boy is no more; he’s evolving into a young man. While this is perfectly natural, it certainly doesn’t make it easier.
With this maturation comes a certain level of confidence, perhaps even arrogance, but I want you to remember that it’s perfectly fine to feel lost at times. We are all navigating this journey together, often stumbling along the way. I’ve been alive for several decades, and I still occasionally feel like a frightened child or an awkward teen. It’s alright to seek help and trust your instincts; you will find your way.
Lessons to Remember
There are several lessons I hope you’ve absorbed from your father and me. First and foremost, the concept of “being a man” is an empty phrase—ignore it. The same goes for “man up.”
It’s also perfectly acceptable to show your emotions, and never shy away from apologizing. Strength and sensitivity can coexist; bravery and kindness are not mutually exclusive.
Always hold doors open for others—whether they are women or men—allowing others to enter the elevator first. This isn’t an outdated notion of chivalry; it’s simply an act of kindness and good manners. For the same reason, push in your chair, lower the toilet seat, and yes, make sure your socks go in the laundry basket.
Aim to leave every space better than you found it.
When you find someone to love, be authentic and transparent. Don’t play games. Open your heart, even if it means risking heartache.
And on the topic of intimacy—this should be a given since we’ve discussed it countless times—no always means no. Silence signifies no, and even a hesitant maybe should be treated as no. Only a clear yes is a yes. (And yes, I’m aware you’re rolling your eyes; this is an important conversation about sex.)
Confronting Difficulties
The world has its fair share of difficult people. While there are also many wonderful individuals, there are enough difficult ones that it’s not enough to merely avoid being one yourself. You must have the courage and kindness to confront those who are. Stand up for yourself and for others, even when the issues at stake don’t directly affect you. Do what is right; silence only empowers those who act poorly.
Surround yourself with individuals who bring out the best in you.
Despite what society may suggest about men being incapable of grocery shopping, making the bed, or caring for a baby, these are all falsehoods. You are intelligent and entirely capable. Take responsibility for both the literal and figurative messes at home.
Be proud of who you are, but never forget the privileges you hold due to your gender, education, race, culture, or socioeconomic status. Use your advantages to assist those who lack the same opportunities. Keep in mind: there but for the grace of God go we all.
Your brother is your closest ally; you’re on the same side. Regardless of the occasional disagreements or how frequently you might annoy one another, remember that you’re two sides of the same coin. After all, who else will understand when you vent about your quirky parents?
When in doubt, bring magic into the world. Lift others up and strive to improve the environment around you.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Don’t forget to check in with your parents.
For more insights about home insemination, feel free to explore this excellent resource, or learn more about self insemination. If you’re interested in the latest developments in at-home insemination kits, visit BabyMaker.
In summary, as my son matures, I hope he understands the importance of kindness, honesty, and responsibility. I want him to navigate life with confidence and empathy, recognizing the privileges he has while supporting those who are less fortunate. As he grows, I will always be here to guide him.