It is not your responsibility as parents to instruct your daughters on how to dress modestly or to avoid certain situations to minimize risk. You shouldn’t have to caution them about parties, drinking, or the complexities of hookup culture. It’s not your role to teach your daughters to be wary of walking alone at night, or even during the day.
It’s not your job to advise them to keep their heads down while on public transport, or to encourage them to falsely claim they are in a relationship to deter unwanted attention. You shouldn’t have to teach them to ignore inappropriate comments or to worry that being friendly or smiling could be misinterpreted as inviting something more.
Equipping your daughters with whistles, pepper spray, or other forms of self-defense isn’t the solution. We’ve long placed the burden of preventing harassment and assault on women and girls, perpetuating a narrative that they are victims waiting to be preyed upon. This mindset keeps them in a constant state of fight-or-flight, always vigilant and cautious.
As a mother of two boys, I often reflect on how to guide them into becoming respectful men. I recognize that while parents play a role in shaping their children’s behavior, the culture around them—friends, media, and society—also influences how they perceive and treat women.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that young men face their own vulnerabilities; the stigma surrounding male victims of sexual abuse must be addressed. However, given that women are disproportionately affected by violence and sexual assault, it’s imperative that we, as parents of boys, take a stand.
We have a responsibility to teach our sons that “no means no,” but also that “yes” can be complicated. They must understand that viewing a drunk girl as an easy target is unacceptable. We must instill in them that catcalling, regardless of intent, is harassment.
It is essential to communicate to our sons that physical contact should only occur with explicit consent and that acts of kindness do not obligate anyone to reciprocate sexually. Jokes about hair-pulling or pinching are never acceptable. Their reputation should never take precedence over a woman’s dignity.
We must also teach them to speak out against harmful behavior among friends, and to reject the culture of sharing private images or boasting about sexual conquests, which only serves to demean women.
This isn’t just about protecting our daughters; it’s about creating a culture where girls can thrive without fear. The outdated mentality of “boys will be boys” needs to end. We must confront the entitlement that may have been inadvertently instilled in our sons and actively work to reshape their understanding of respect for women.
When I see social media posts depicting fathers threatening boys who might harm their daughters, it saddens me. It illustrates a persistent belief that boys are predators and girls are victims. This narrative is damaging and, tragically, still true in many respects. But it’s time for change.
To my fellow parents of boys, let’s unite in our mission to raise compassionate, respectful young men. By fostering an environment where women are valued, we can alleviate the need for our daughters to constantly strategize their safety.
Together, we can make a difference for future generations. For more guidance on related topics, check out this excellent resource on female infertility and consider exploring fertility boosters for men to enhance your journey.
Summary:
Parents must take an active role in raising their sons to be respectful and understanding of boundaries, thereby alleviating the responsibility placed on daughters to protect themselves from harassment and violence. By addressing these issues and fostering a culture of respect, we can create a safer environment for everyone.