From March to October, I embody the vibrant, sociable mom that everyone wants to be around. I host lively barbecues, coordinate community bonfires complete with marshmallow roasting for the neighborhood kids, and manage carpools for soccer practices. I’m the one organizing bake sales and fundraisers for the PTA, and I even whip up Jell-O shots for fellow parents on Halloween. I genuinely enjoy attending Girl Scout events, and often my fun moments slip by without a single Instagram post.
However, once November arrives, my enthusiasm plummets, and the dread of daylight saving time sets in. This change triggers my seasonal affective disorder (SAD), turning me into a shadow of my former self. My husband struggles to comprehend my sudden fatigue, while my daughter often asks, “Why is Mommy always upset?” or “Does Mommy need to sleep more?”
Research indicates that approximately 6% of the U.S. population, especially in colder regions, suffers from SAD, with an additional 14% experiencing milder seasonal mood fluctuations known as the winter blues. For me, SAD manifests in irritability and fatigue. The smallest tasks, like folding laundry, feel monumental. Some days, I can barely drag myself out of bed, leaving my husband to handle the responsibilities I can’t face.
This leads to feelings of inadequacy. I yearn to be the mother who prepares lunch and ensures breakfast is ready before school, and I want to be the supportive wife who can stay awake for evening conversations or date nights instead of succumbing to sleep at 8:30 p.m. I often feel like I’m failing.
Winter should be a time for joy, festivities, and celebration, yet for me, it signals the beginning of a challenging period. Here are a few key insights that those of us with SAD wish to share:
1. We’re Putting in Our Best Effort.
I strive to shield my 9-year-old from the reality that everyday tasks like showering or even brushing my teeth feel like Herculean challenges. Each morning, I hope that coffee will grant me a few hours of functional energy before I need to retreat to bed again. Typically, I take pride in my appearance, donning makeup and coordinating outfits for school pick-up. But in winter, I find comfort in leggings and oversized tees, lacking the motivation to dress otherwise. Despite my struggles, I aim to be present, ensuring I make dinner and help with homework, even if I feel as though I’ve run a marathon by 8 p.m.
2. Patience is Crucial.
I don’t want to be irritable, especially not while assisting my daughter with her math homework or feeling overwhelmed by housework. I wish I could plan Christmas Eve without anxiety or spend the entire day in bed. It’s essential to understand that individuals with SAD can’t simply “snap out of it.” We, too, long for joyful moments and experiences.
3. Self-Care is Essential.
For me, self-care includes taking multivitamins and a hefty dose of vitamin D each morning, as well as sitting beside a light therapy lamp for a few hours. I prioritize attending my noon CrossFit class, knowing that the endorphins from an hour of intense lifting and the support from my workout friends help me tackle the rest of the day. For others, self-care may involve medication, yoga, or dietary changes. It’s vital for us to discover healthy ways to overcome the emotional challenges of SAD.
4. Hope Exists.
I eagerly await the arrival of spring and the end of daylight saving time. While many parents dread losing an hour of sleep, I revel in the morning sunlight streaming through my windows and the extended daylight hours ahead. The anticipation of late-afternoon soccer practices and family adventures excites me. I even contemplate hosting sleepovers for neighborhood girls. With the return of longer days, I regain my energy and can forgo that dreaded afternoon nap. Though it’s hard to remember during the dreary, cold days of December, brighter times are always on the horizon.
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Summary
Navigating the challenges of Seasonal Affective Disorder is no easy feat. Those of us affected face daily struggles that often go unnoticed. By fostering understanding, patience, and encouraging self-care, we can cope with the symptoms of SAD while holding onto the hope of brighter days ahead.