Parenting
Your friend rushes to your table, breathless and apologetic for her tardiness to your regular lunch catch-up. “I’m so sorry,” she exclaims. “I just got back from Jake’s private cello lesson. He’s competing at nationals next week!”
“Wow, I didn’t even know he played the cello,” you reply, genuinely surprised. “Isn’t soccer his primary sport?”
Your friend chuckles, nodding. “Yes, soccer is his thing too. And football. Oh, and robotics as well.” She pauses for a moment, reflecting. “It’s a bit amusing to say out loud, but it feels like whatever he tries, he’s just good at it. Almost like everything is his thing.”
As you lean back in your chair, a smile creeping onto your face, you can’t help but wonder how one child can possess such a range of talents. Your thoughts drift to your own child, who has recently decided to quit three different activities due to a lack of interest or skill.
As the lunch continues, an unsettling thought creeps in: “What if my child never finds their passion? When will they discover what they’re truly good at?” This question lingers in your mind long after your friend has left.
If we’re honest, this is a question many parents grapple with at some point. I certainly have. In fact, I’ve pondered my children’s potential talents even before they could comprehend what sports or instruments were. We often assume our kids will have some innate talent, and it becomes our mission to uncover it.
Thus begins the cycle. We encourage them to choose an activity, and when they show interest, we eagerly invest our time and resources into supporting this new endeavor. As we observe their progress, we may entertain thoughts of them becoming the next viral sensation on a talent show or securing a scholarship to a prestigious college. But these aspirations come crashing down when they announce they’re no longer interested in their latest pursuit, leaving us heartbroken.
So, we move on to the next activity. At first, it seems like they’ve found their calling in karate, but it quickly becomes apparent that they lack any natural talent for it. We watch as other kids excel while ours struggles with the simplest moves. Yet, in their joy, we continue to support them.
Despite knowing that skill isn’t everything, we still feel the weight of both external and internal pressures for our children to excel. Is it enough for them to simply be happy? While we know the answer should be yes, this anxiety is compounded by witnessing other children meet the soaring expectations tied to extracurricular activities today.
Let’s face it: Swimming by age five is no longer impressive; now, it’s about mastering various strokes. Competitive cheerleading has evolved beyond simple routines to advanced tumbling skills. In music, it’s not enough to learn an instrument; it’s about building a YouTube following before even reaching ten.
Admittedly, I may be exaggerating a bit, but unfortunately, some of these pressures ring true. When we see the few children who manage to rise to such heights, it’s easy to question what’s holding our own child back. This doubt can extend to our abilities as parents too.
Yet, when that nagging question arises—“Is my child just average at everything?”—it’s crucial to remember that most of us are ordinary. And that’s perfectly fine.
Most of us didn’t grow up to be the “National Chess Champion of 1996” or the “Master Cello Prodigy of the Bonner Springs Music Festival.” Even those who did often lead lives that seem quite ordinary today. I once discovered my neighbor played minor league baseball when I saw him playing catch with my son. I have a friend who runs a successful startup but was once considered the school outcast.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I don’t recall being extraordinary at anything. I was that kid who dabbled in countless activities—Girl Scouts, gymnastics, piano, and more—but never felt unfulfilled. Instead, I cherish the memories of a childhood brimming with joy and play, free from the burdens of high expectations. I’m thankful my parents allowed me the freedom to explore and even quit activities, like piano, that I was terrible at. I truly believe that not being a prodigy in those areas hasn’t hindered my success today.
So, I ask you: What if your child isn’t exceptional at anything? What if they are just ordinary in various pursuits?
My answer remains the same: That’s perfectly okay. Because the most extraordinary moments often arise from the most ordinary people.
Summary
This article highlights the pressures parents face regarding their children’s talents and the importance of embracing the ordinary. It encourages readers to find joy in their children’s exploration of interests, rather than fixating on their potential for exceptionalism. The narrative reassures that being average is not only acceptable but can lead to a fulfilling and happy childhood.