I find myself torn between whether I’m engaging in a clever parenting strategy or simply sliding down the slope of indifference, but I’ve finally surrendered to the reality of untied shoelaces.
My eldest son roams around with his shoes flopping all day long, and it drives me absolutely bonkers. My worry is that one day he’ll trip and hurt himself because of those pesky laces. It also frustrates me to see the laces get ruined, which inevitably adds “find new shoelaces” to my never-ending to-do list. The memory of him getting his laces caught in an escalator still haunts me; we had to yank his shoe off to prevent a serious injury, and I ended up improvising to rescue the shoe while dodging a sea of impatient shoppers.
At 10 years old, he’s at that stage where everything I say feels like nagging. He has untied laces, messy handwriting, clothes strewn about, hair in disarray, and dinner plates that linger on the table. While some of this doesn’t directly affect me, it all sounds like complaints when it comes from my mouth. This is his time to explore his identity without my constant reminders or critiques.
When we envision our children growing and maturing, we often think about them evolving into their best selves—becoming organized, excelling in sports, or being recognized for their kindness. However, we seldom consider that allowing our children to truly be themselves includes letting them navigate their flaws as well. While we can guide them in their studies and teach them manners, there comes a moment when they must take responsibility for their own actions.
If you spot a sports-loving kid with wild blonde hair and untied shoelaces strolling through a city street, know that he’s mine. He’s intelligent, creative, and a bit messy—full of potential, yet still learning to harness it. He has a knack for crafting beautiful stories that are nearly illegible due to his hurried handwriting, and of course, he never ties his shoes.
Feel free to suggest he tie his shoes; however, he probably won’t heed your advice. He might trip or get his laces caught again, and you might wonder why I haven’t put an end to it. But as you glance at your own child’s untied shoes or unkempt hair, you might realize that part of parenting is allowing them to stumble, fall, and navigate their way through life.
There’s no true victory in saying “I told you so”—just the understanding that no kid heads off to college with untied shoes. That’s what I keep reminding myself as I resist the urge to tell my son to stop and tie his laces.
For those interested in more about parenting strategies, check out this article on home insemination. You can also find valuable resources on pregnancy and home insemination at Hopkins Medicine and learn about self-insemination kits at Make A Mom.
Summary:
In the journey of parenting, we often grapple with the balance between guiding our children and allowing them the freedom to learn from their mistakes. My son’s refusal to tie his shoes is a reflection of his independence, even as it causes me concern. It’s essential to remember that part of their growth involves embracing both their strengths and weaknesses.