I arrived at the local soccer field with my three kids in tow, inquiring about practice schedules like a lost parent. “What nights do you practice?” I asked the coach, who simply replied, “Tuesday nights.”
“Tuesday nights?” I echoed, “You won’t see me then. That’s date night. You’ll be seeing Alex, our babysitter.”
“Wait, this week?” he probed.
“Nope,” I clarified, “I mean every week. Tuesday is our designated date night.”
“Seriously? That sounds nice,” he responded with a hint of sarcasm.
“It’s a whole lot better than divorce,” I shot back.
And you know what? It really is.
I understand that planning a date night might seem like a luxury—hiring a babysitter, putting on a bit of makeup, and swapping out the stained T-shirt for something presentable is no small feat. It requires aligning schedules with your partner while balancing work obligations, kids’ activities, and the endless cycle of household chores. Plus, it can be pricey. You’re spending money on meals you could’ve prepared at home and compensating your babysitter, which can add up quickly.
However, I firmly believe it’s far less expensive than the cost of a divorce.
To me, date night is vital for our marriage. I married a great guy named Tom 15 years ago. We had an instant connection, meeting in college art classes—what’s not romantic about that? In our younger days, we embraced spontaneity, packing a simple picnic of bread, cheese, and wine, then hiking to a scenic overlook to share our dreams and aspirations.
Fast forward to today, and life has become a whirlwind of responsibilities. We’ve welcomed three kids into the world, and with them come jobs, bills, and home maintenance. We’ve evolved into busy adults, and much has changed over the years.
After 15 years together, we’ve become different people, navigating the complexities of life and parenthood. And yes, we sometimes forget to close the bathroom door.
And no, attending PTA meetings or taking the kids along on outings doesn’t count as date night. That time is reserved for you and your partner—the one you chose to build a life with. Date night serves as a promise to each other, a reminder of the connection you share, ensuring that you don’t need to sign any other contracts, like divorce papers.
Every Tuesday, I know I’ll have my husband, just us two, for better or worse. Maybe we’ll enjoy a cozy dinner at our favorite spot or grab some burgers from the local dive and watch the sunset at the beach. Pure bliss, right?
I recognize that in the past, couples may not have felt the need for designated date nights—they were too busy tending to their farms or dealing with life’s simpler challenges. But we could be spending up to 80 years with our partners, so making time for each other is crucial.
So, mark it on your calendar. Treat it as sacred time. If hiring a babysitter isn’t feasible, consider swapping childcare duties with a friend who also needs a break. Make simple meals and enjoy them in your backyard while keeping a baby monitor close by. It’s still date night!
Because if we’re fortunate, in another 15 years, our kids will be grown and busy with their own lives. And who will we have left? Each other. Hopefully, we’ll still be cherishing our date nights too.
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Summary
Date night is an essential practice for couples, serving as a commitment to each other amidst the chaos of parenting and life. By prioritizing this time together, couples can strengthen their relationships, ensuring they remain connected as their family grows.