To all the friends, family, and loved ones of parents navigating the complexities of raising a child with autism, this message is for you. I understand that you might feel caught in a difficult position. It’s a challenging situation for all involved. If you acknowledge that something may be off with our child’s development, we might react defensively. Conversely, if you reassure us that everything is fine, it can feel dismissive and as if you don’t truly understand our struggles.
Please bear with us. We are equally torn, filled with worry, and often waiting for answers. When the moment comes for us to reveal the diagnosis we’ve kept hidden for so long, your choice of words matters immensely. Some people in my circle had difficulty accepting the news. Trust me, it took me a long time to even consider a diagnosis, let alone voice it.
A certain relative of mine struggled to accept my child’s autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, saying they “needed some time” to process it. Really? Are they okay? Should I be concerned about their comfort? Maybe I could join them in a world of denial, where everything is blissfully ignorant. But I can’t afford that luxury. My child requires my honesty so I can help him navigate a world that isn’t tailored for him.
If you think you’re in denial about the diagnosis, try to imagine our feelings. As parents, it’s our instinct to shield our children from harsh realities. We might want to close our eyes and escape from a daunting future filled with challenges. But we can’t. We didn’t ask for this, and it’s not a plea for sympathy. This is our reality, and it’s undeniably tough.
If you haven’t witnessed the behaviors that justify a diagnosis, remember that we do. We face them daily, and it’s exhausting. When those close to us struggle to accept our circumstances, it adds to our distress. We must continue to advocate for our children, and we hope you will stand by us.
The process of questioning and accepting a diagnosis is anything but easy. So, please, avoid making it even harder for us. We don’t need to convince you of something we are grappling with ourselves. We are already working tirelessly to support our children, so we ask for your understanding and support without added pressure.
When our child has a good day or a good moment, it doesn’t mean they are “cured” or that we were mistaken about their diagnosis. It simply signifies that they had a good experience, and we celebrate that. It’s what we wish for during those restless nights when hope feels distant. Good moments don’t erase the struggles; they coexist.
When our children flourish, it’s typically the result of hard work and dedication, often through various therapies. Don’t overlook the efforts and frustrations that led to each small victory, just because they don’t fit into a more comfortable narrative for you. Learn to embrace the realities we live in—messy, complex, and very real. Our lives may not appear as neat as yours, but they are our home, and there’s no place like it.
If you’re not comfortable with our reality, that’s okay—stay away. But if you want to support and understand us, you must accept our lives as they are. Simple gestures like a kiss and a Band-Aid won’t suffice anymore. Autism is genuine, and so are our struggles. We deserve your real support, and it’s not complicated. Trust in us as parents and as individuals you care about. Accept our children for the wonderfully imperfect, loving, and intelligent beings they are.
For more insights on navigating the journey of parenthood and understanding various aspects of it, including home insemination, you can check out our other blog posts at Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, for those considering options in artificial insemination, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is a trusted resource. For comprehensive information on assisted reproductive technology, the CDC’s ART page is an excellent resource that can provide valuable guidance.
In summary, we need your support and understanding as we navigate the complexities of our lives. Embrace our children for who they are, and remember that your kindness can make a world of difference.