I wish I could confidently say that the days of duckface selfies are behind us, but I’m not certain that’s the case. While the wide-open-mouth, peace-sign photos are still around, I haven’t spotted a duckface in quite some time, so maybe there’s hope.
Selfies are not my thing. In fact, they kind of creep me out. Watching my teenager take dozens of selfies during our short drive to church makes me lose my mind. She insists on capturing the perfect shot. Once, she attempted to get me into one of her selfies, and in a moment of rebellion, I gave the camera the finger to make it unsendable. (Yes, I know, no need for the judgment.) But somehow, it still got sent, and now she’s the girl whose mom flipped off the camera. Seriously.
In our household, Snapchat is a constant. We have two teens who seem to be on it 26 hours a day. What is going on with this generation? How did we raise a bunch of selfie-obsessed kids who can’t send anything else to their friends? When I suggested to my daughter that she send something other than a selfie, she looked at me as if I had just grown a second head. “Like what? What else could I send?” I was left speechless.
Last week, one of our teens had to miss a week of school due to illness and ended up in the ER. I can only imagine that when her friends realized she wasn’t at school that Monday, they started sending Snapchats. I’m sure they each received a selfie of my sick child with puffy eyes and a pale face. Ugh. Make it stop.
But then something surprising occurred. On the first day she was home sick, the doorbell rang in the afternoon, and it was one of her friends, holding a milkshake for her. This friend knew my daughter couldn’t eat due to a sore throat, so she bought a milkshake with her own money. Even though it might seem like a small gesture, it’s actually quite significant in the world of teenagers.
The next day, the doorbell rang again, and it was the delivery guy from a local café. My daughter’s “oh my gosh, Mom, please stop calling him my boyfriend, you’re so embarrassing” had placed an order for her and had it delivered to our house. Seriously, this sweet young man had lunch sent over for my daughter. What? Who does that? I joked with my husband that this kid had just raised the bar for him!
The following day, the doorbell rang yet again, and to my surprise, it was a pizza delivery guy. Her best friend (who lives in a different city) had called in a pizza and had it sent over to my daughter. He handed me the pizza along with fries and a drink, letting me know everything was prepaid, including the tip. I later called her mother to express my gratitude, only to find out she had no clue her daughter had sent my child lunch. There was no recognition for her friend; she was simply being kind.
The next day, we found ourselves back in the ER, and as my daughter lay in the hospital bed, I noticed her phone buzzing consistently with friends checking in. I also watched as she Snapchatted pictures of her IV and hospital room.
On the last day of the week, her “oh my gosh, Mom, stop calling him my boyfriend, you’re so embarrassing” and her best guy friend came over during their lunch break with burgers from our favorite fast-food place. They sat outside, enjoying lunch together, providing her some much-needed company and smiles after a long, lonely week.
This week was a humbling experience. These kids continuously proved me wrong. Perhaps all this social media, Snapchatting, and selfie-taking isn’t turning them into self-centered bullies after all. It’s allowing them to connect in ways we never had when we were their age, and maybe that’s not necessarily bad. While social media can certainly be misused, I’ve learned that sometimes it’s a platform for the sweetest acts of kindness.
When I was growing up, if a friend missed school for a week due to illness, we didn’t do much beyond maybe calling them on our landline to see how they were doing. The immediacy these kids have to reach out to one another allowed them to show compassion to my daughter in ways we couldn’t when we were her age. They found ways to express their care, reminding her that she was loved and missed. I feel compelled to reach out to each of their parents and say “thank you” for raising such thoughtful kids.
We often underestimate this generation. These are good kids trying their best to navigate a world filled with instant access to everything. Their lives are unfolding in real-time through social media, and while being a teenager is tough right now, they are managing it quite well.
If you have young children and dread the teenage years, let me assure you that the best is yet to come. These kids are remarkable, and despite their struggles in figuring out their identities, they are becoming wonderfully compassionate and generous young adults, even if most of it is shared through Snapchat. For more insights on family and parenting, check out our related post on home insemination kits and learn more about the journey to parenthood at Make a Mom. Also, for excellent resources on pregnancy and related topics, visit Drugs.com.
In summary, my daughter’s experience showcases the unexpected positive side of social media in fostering kindness and compassion among teens, reminding us that even in their selfie-driven world, they possess the ability to care deeply for one another.