Updated: Sep. 22, 2017
Are you fed up with that one friend who insists on updating everyone at the crack of dawn about their intense workout regimen? If so, get ready to laugh (or cry) because this hilarious video from the talented comedian and mother of two, Jennifer Lane, is just what you need. Lane, who runs the popular Facebook page “I Ain’t Gonna Do It”, uses quirky Snapchat filters and a playful voice to share all the things she’s not doing, including school fundraisers, skin-colored leggings, and yes, CrossFit.
Of all the annoying Facebook updates, workout posts might just take the cake. Lane doesn’t hold back in her comedic rant. “Thanks to all you CrossFit enthusiasts for checking in at 5:00 AM,” she starts, and honestly, I want to join that gratitude. After all, without those daily updates, how would we know you’re up at dawn hitting the gym while the rest of us are snug in our beds? Would your workout even count if it wasn’t shared with your 746 Facebook friends?
With a sarcastic flair, she states how “good information” it is to know how many “amraps” (as many reps as possible, which sounds like a nightmare) her friends are managing to squeeze in. And then she drops the ultimate question: “Is that what you want to hear? That you’re better than me?”
Honestly, is it? Can’t these folks just create a group where they can share their workout wins without the rest of us feeling guilty while we enjoy a blueberry muffin on the couch? If we were interested, we’d join you, right? Lane continues, “Oh sure, I could go, but I didn’t pencil in my demise today. I think I’ll pass. I’m pretty sure Wall Balls and Bear Crawls aren’t how I’m going out. I’ll be meeting my maker in a cocktail dress, thank you very much—not Danskin shorts.”
Absolutely! If you’re a morning workout warrior, good for you—really! I admire your dedication. But my Facebook friends have no idea about my gym habits because I know they don’t care. They can find the gym if they choose to join me—no need for my constant check-ins.
Lane wraps up her comedic masterpiece with a sentiment we can all relate to: “I’d rather stub my toe on a bed frame than be caught dead in a CrossFit class. Mmhmm. I ain’t doin it.” And let’s be real, if you are doing it, no one wants to hear about it at 5:00 AM. Trust me.
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In summary, Jennifer Lane’s comedic rant brilliantly captures the frustration many feel about incessant workout updates on social media. Her humorous take on the phenomenon resonates with anyone who has ever rolled their eyes at a 5 AM fitness post.