By Jamie Rivera
During my pregnancy with my second son, my partner, Daniel, was firm in his belief that two children were plenty. He was thrilled with our little family of four. But I wasn’t so sure.
When my second son was born, I still felt that familiar tug on my heartstrings. Late that night, after the hospital had quieted down, I cradled my newborn close, inhaled deeply, and whispered, “You’re not my last baby.” It was in that moment that I realized I wasn’t ready to close the door on expanding our family just yet.
As my boys, Lucas and Charlie, grew and played together, I often sensed something was missing. Our family felt incomplete, like a puzzle with a missing piece that was just waiting to be found.
For as long as I could remember, I had envisioned a family of four boys. I dreamed of tall, caring sons who would dote on their mom. Back in my high school days, I never really pictured my partner clearly, but I always saw four boys in my future.
Then came Ella, our unexpected surprise. She was definitely not a boy, and it threw me off balance. With two sons already, I assumed I was destined to have another boy. Daniel and I debated whether Ella would be our last child, but I couldn’t commit to that decision until I had spent some time with her. Maybe I still needed that fourth child I always imagined—even if it didn’t mean having all boys.
Adding to my uncertainty, my pregnancy with Ella was far from easy. Each pregnancy seemed to take a greater toll on my body, making me question whether I could handle a fourth (or technically, sixth) pregnancy. Once Ella was born, the toll of carrying her made us both 98 percent certain that we were done. It wasn’t about her gender; it was about recognizing that my body simply couldn’t endure another pregnancy like hers.
But when Ella was placed in my arms, I felt an overwhelming sense of completion wash over me. The missing piece of our family puzzle was this little girl I never knew I needed. Three felt just right.
Daniel and I are at peace with our decision. We’re confident that our family of five is complete. Yet, last week, we made it official during a quick visit to the doctor. As the days led up to the procedure, I experienced a mix of emotions—not because I was longing for another baby, but because I felt a subtle shift in our family dynamic.
While shopping for groceries with Ella, an old friend approached to congratulate me on my new addition. I loved the compliment, but as we walked through the baby aisle, I couldn’t help but think about my peers—many of whom have children much older than mine. One friend is already a grandmother!
As I inhaled the sweet, newborn scent of Ella, I suddenly felt… well, old.
I’ve never been one to let age define me. Milestones like marriage at 27 or becoming a mom at 31 felt exciting, not daunting. But now, with ten years of marriage under our belts and three growing children, I realized I was entering a new era.
Daniel often likens our family planning to soccer; at one point, we were practicing, and now we’re officially in the alumni league where no one keeps score. But I found this transition harder than I anticipated—not because I yearn for more children, but because the baby years are behind us.
Yet, with this ending comes a new beginning. We’re stepping into the growing-up years, where memories will be made. Reflecting on my childhood, the most cherished memories were created after my youngest sibling was born. Now, we’re embarking on that same journey with our kids.
There’s a bittersweet sense of loss, though—a longing for those youthful days of childbearing and the excitement of the unknown. But here we are, completed and ready to embrace the next chapter.
If you’re considering expanding your family, there are many resources available. From understanding the ins and outs of pregnancy to exploring home insemination techniques, you can learn more about the journey at Intracervical Insemination and the Impregnator at Home Insemination Kit, where you’ll find valuable insights. For those looking into advanced options, IVF is also an excellent resource.
In conclusion, knowing when you’re done having children is a deeply personal journey that involves emotions, experiences, and perhaps a little bit of soul searching. For us, we’re ready to embrace the beautiful chaos of family memories ahead.