A peculiar situation has emerged in Colorado Springs, where police are seeking assistance in identifying a woman who has seemingly taken it upon herself to defecate on residents’ lawns during her daily runs. This individual, referred to by locals as “The Lawn Bandit,” has been caught in the act more than once, much to the horror of nearby families.
It was the children of resident Linda Morrow who first spotted the Lawn Bandit. “They ran inside yelling, ‘You won’t believe what we just saw—a lady is pooping!’” Morrow recounted. Curious, she stepped outside to witness the bizarre scene for herself. “I couldn’t believe it. I asked her, ‘Are you really going to do that right here in front of my kids?’ She nonchalantly replied, ‘Yeah, sorry.’”
The phrase “yeah, sorry” typically accompanies less severe transgressions, like finishing the last slice of pizza at a party—not when one is squatting in full view of children. Initially, Morrow thought this might have been a one-off incident, surely the result of a dire emergency. However, the situation has persisted, with the family discovering remnants of the Lawn Bandit’s visits about once a week, often covered with napkins, which suggests a certain level of premeditation.
Morrow has confronted the Lawn Bandit twice, but her efforts have yet to deter this audacious jogger. It’s hard to comprehend the level of comfort required to relieve oneself in public, especially in front of a home filled with witnesses. Moreover, the Lawn Bandit has been reported to frequent other yards and even a nearby pharmacy, seemingly unfazed by the presence of alternatives like public restrooms just a short distance away.
Could it be that she possesses an unusual attachment to these locations, akin to cats who return to the same spot despite having a litter box available? Perhaps a complete overhaul of their lawn, coupled with some vigorous cleaning, might deter her from returning. Alternatively, the Lawn Bandit could be marking her territory, similar to a dog claiming its space. Regardless of the reason, she could benefit from a serious discussion about her choices.
Meanwhile, Morrow and her family are at their wit’s end. They have documented the incidents and shared the images with the authorities, who are now hoping that someone in the community can help identify this wayward jogger. In an effort to draw attention to the situation, the family even put up a sign pleading with her to stop. “I made a sign that read, ‘Please, I’m begging you, please stop.’ She jogged past it numerous times yesterday but continued her routine,” Morrow lamented.
If you have any information regarding the Lawn Bandit, consider reaching out to local law enforcement or sending her a strongly worded message. And if you happen to be the Lawn Bandit, perhaps it’s time to invest in a treadmill or consider using a private space. Giving up public lawns might be a wise choice for everyone involved.
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In summary, Colorado Springs residents are left baffled by the antics of the Lawn Bandit, who continues her public defecation spree despite multiple confrontations and community outcry. As the situation escalates, local authorities are on the lookout for her identity, hoping to bring an end to this unusual and unsightly dilemma.