I understand that the concept of free-range parenting is trendy these days, and I see the appeal. However, it’s not a feasible choice for me right now. I didn’t wake up one day with an overwhelming urge to hover over my child; rather, he has made it clear that he wants my attention. He misses me during my work hours and eagerly looks forward to our playtime at the park after I pick him up. Let’s face it, he’s just a toddler! I didn’t even realize I was a helicopter parent until someone pointed out that when I’m not actively participating, I seem to annoy the non-hovering parents at the local playground.
Believe me, I would love to take a break on the sidelines, but my 2-year-old has other plans. “Mom, come here! Get down!” he demands, pulling at my leg as soon as I attempt to sit. Oh, how I internally sigh. I’d relish the chance to catch up on my own life for a moment, observing him from a distance. But no, I’m the fun mom who has to get involved. Why can’t my mere presence be sufficient? I find myself envying you, the bench-sitting parents.
Typically, dads are seen as the fun ones—the wild and adventurous types. But in my family, I’ve taken on that role. It’s all fun and games until a 2-year-old drags you off the bench after a long day at work because he thinks putting sand down my shirt is a brilliant idea.
And just to clarify, I’m not watching your child at all. You don’t need to worry about me judging your parenting choices; I’m completely indifferent to your child testing boundaries. If she falls, that’s on you, my friend. I let my kid tumble all the time without a second thought. Well, that’s not entirely true; I usually chuckle and ask, “Did you fall?” Ha!
It must be nice for you to relax at the park while I’m busy running around, participating in all sorts of toddler activities. But before you judge my involvement, understand that engaging with my son is the only way I can enjoy these moments. Yes, I have fun, and you’ll likely see me acting like a child myself—zooming down slides and cheering him on as we traverse the playground.
And trust me, my kid’s social skills are just fine. He’s in preschool five days a week, from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. He even has a little girlfriend he kisses goodbye every day (shoutout to Lucy!). So when we’re at the park, he simply wants to play with me. He finds me fun. And guess what? Your kid seems to think I’m fun, too.
Your child might start off watching us, sizing me up to determine if I’m a threat, a weirdo, or just a big kid myself (I’m a bit of all three). Before I know it, I’m playing with your child as well. The only reason I keep looking up to catch your eye is that I don’t want you to think I’m some strange predator.
So let’s make a pact and show each other a little more understanding. I’m not trying to ruin your park experience by being in the mix with the kids, and I’m certainly not judging your choice to take a break on the bench. In fact, I’m a little envious of your mini-vacation—we all need those. So, please don’t judge me either. For some reason, kids think I’m entertaining, and they won’t let me off the hook until I’m fully engaged (literally) in their world, often pretending to fall down. (Falling can be pretty funny, after all.)
Entertaining your kids wasn’t on my agenda, but it certainly kept them busy, didn’t it? You’re welcome! You and I are probably closer allies than you realize, so save me a spot on that bench next time!
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Summary:
This article discusses the author’s experience as an engaged parent in contrast to the growing trend of free-range parenting. The piece highlights the dynamics of parent-child play, the judgments that can arise between different parenting styles, and the joys of being an involved parent, even if it means sacrificing personal downtime.
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