Kids can be unkind, and that’s not just a rumor. From the days of playground taunts to modern-day social media bullying, children have a long history of being cruel. From giving wedgies to tossing “nerds” into dumpsters, the mean streak runs deep in human nature. Unfortunately, this trend often carries over into adulthood, where some of the worst offenders can be found sipping coffee in their athleisure wear at the local park.
As parents, our goal is to nurture compassionate, kind-hearted individuals. Nobody hopes to raise a self-absorbed child. We strive to instill values like treating others as we wish to be treated, discouraging gossip and conflict, and emphasizing the importance of our actions on those around us. But what about the subtle, often overlooked, harm of passive exclusion?
Think back to those moments of being sidelined by cliques, perhaps feeling the sting when people turn their backs on the new parent in the neighborhood. The pain of exclusion can be as severe as that inflicted by outright bullies. That’s why it’s crucial for us to focus on not just eliminating bullying, but actively fostering a culture of inclusivity.
Take a look at the world around us. Bullies today are more brazen than ever, boldly expressing their disdain across all platforms, from schoolyards to political arenas. There’s an undeniable lack of kindness, and I want my kids to stand against that tide. The question is: how do we combat this human tendency to isolate and exclude? How can we cultivate the includers our world so desperately needs?
First and foremost, we must lead by example.
- Be a Role Model for Inclusivity: The adage “do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t hold water here. If your children witness you mocking others, they’ll absorb that behavior. When we address differences in a respectful manner at home, our kids learn to do the same outside. Have conversations about diversity and its importance, and embody the inclusivity you wish to see.
- Celebrate Kindness: Whenever you see your child being inclusive, acknowledge their actions. For instance, say, “I’m so proud of you for inviting Ella to join your game. She must feel really happy!” Recognizing their kind behavior not only boosts their confidence but also reinforces the emotional rewards of empathy.
- Cultivate Empathy: There will be times when your child feels left out and approaches you in tears. Rather than seeking revenge on the offending child, use this moment to teach a valuable lesson. Comfort them, then guide them to reflect on their feelings. Ask, “Remember how sad you felt when you weren’t included? That’s why it’s important to include everyone.” Teaching empathy is a skill that requires practice, and it doesn’t come naturally.
- Stand Against Unfairness: Unfortunately, we live in a time when inclusivity is often lacking. If we remain silent in the face of discrimination, what message are we sending our children? It’s essential to speak out against injustice and be allies for those who are marginalized. Teach your kids that being an includer means embracing everyone with open arms.
The world is complex, and the challenges we face today are not easily solved. However, we have the opportunity to raise a generation that defies the trends of exclusion and hatred. Let’s guide our children to become empathetic, inclusive advocates for justice. Perhaps, one small act of kindness at a time, we can change the world.
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Summary
This article emphasizes the importance of raising inclusive children who actively embrace kindness and empathy. By modeling inclusive behavior, celebrating acts of kindness, fostering empathy, and standing against injustice, parents can cultivate a generation that counters the trends of exclusion and negativity in society.