No parent wants to be known as the one whose child hits others. It’s uncomfortable to be the mom of the kid that other children avoid, receiving judgmental glances from fellow parents. Trust me, I understand that feeling well.
From the time he was little, I’ve emphasized to my son that hitting is not acceptable. I’ve told him repeatedly that our hands are not meant for hurting others, and that resorting to violence won’t solve problems. Still, he’s a toddler, and despite my best intentions, there are moments when he lashes out, whether at the park or during playdates. And in those instances, I often wish I could just vanish.
Unfortunately, hiding isn’t an option. I’ve tried to make myself invisible, but here I am, facing the situation head-on. So, what’s the best course of action?
While I don’t have all the answers, I’ve discovered a few strategies that can be helpful. Time-outs might work for some kids, but I’ve learned that isolating a child often just exacerbates their frustration. Instead, I prefer to take him away from the situation, guiding him through what went wrong and discussing how his actions affected his friend. This approach helps him understand the importance of empathy.
Yelling, on the other hand, usually makes things worse. I find that speaking in a low, controlled tone often gets the message across better. “You need to sit here, and if I have to remind you not to hit again, we’re going home.” He might pout during that time, hoping for sympathy from onlookers. Occasionally, someone might encourage me to ease up on him, while others commend my resolve.
The next step is the apology. I’ve noticed that my son often says he’s sorry through tears after a time-out, and sometimes he’s reluctant to apologize. In those cases, I model the behavior I want to see, showing him how to express regret.
After reminding him again about using words instead of hands, he’s off again, and I’m left hoping for the best. I don’t want to be “that parent,” but more importantly, I dread the potential fallout of taking him home. It’s never easy to pull a child from their fun, and I know this firsthand.
It’s essential to recognize that hitting isn’t always intentional. Often, he gets overly excited or doesn’t understand personal space. These moments can be more challenging to navigate than deliberate hitting because, with the latter, I know how to respond. Accidental actions require teaching him about boundaries and social cues. Learning about consent and bodily autonomy starts at an early age.
No one wants to be the parent of the “hitting kid.” Such children often carry labels like “brat” or “troublemaker.” We know our kids are good at heart, but it’s tough to explain to Timmy’s mom that my child is generally sweet, even if he sometimes behaves like a little monster. In those moments, I wish I could just dig a hole and hide until everyone leaves the playground.
Sometimes, I imagine wearing a shirt that says, “Don’t judge me because my child can be a handful. I promise I’m a good mom.” It might seem silly, but the thought has crossed my mind!
Kids who hit aren’t inherently bad or poorly raised; it’s a normal phase of development as they learn to navigate their emotions and conflicts. Don’t dismiss them as “that kid” just yet. And to my fellow parents, remember not to take it personally. You know your child, and if their behavior seems like a sign of a bigger issue, it’s your responsibility to address that. More often than not, though, it’s simply a phase they’re testing. It’s embarrassing for us, but all we can do is continue to love, teach, and guide them into becoming the kind, caring individuals we know they can be.
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In summary, it’s common for toddlers to go through phases where they hit. As parents, we need to address these behaviors without shame, understanding that it’s part of their development. With patience, guidance, and love, we can help them learn to navigate their emotions and relationships better.