I’ll never forget the day my mom discovered I was sexually active—she found out by flipping through my high school yearbook while I was out at a graduation party. You’d think that would have left a lasting mark on me, but I can hardly recall the aftermath. There was a quick chat, followed by a visit to the OB-GYN to get my birth control pills before heading off to college.
Here’s the kicker: I had been in a serious relationship throughout high school and had already been sexually active for a year by that point. I chose not to tell my parents because the thought of them knowing I wasn’t a virgin was unbearable. So, we relied on condoms—most of the time.
Now that I have a daughter who’s just a couple of years away from facing a similar situation, this memory sends chills down my spine. But that was 1986—it feels like a lifetime ago! Fast forward to 2023, and I consider myself a modern, open-minded mom. Surely, my daughter will come to me when she’s ready to discuss birth control, right?
Unfortunately, that’s not the case. A recent study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy revealed a startling statistic: 68 percent of teens admitted that their primary reason for not using birth control is fear of their parents finding out. In simpler terms, that means seven out of ten teenagers are foregoing protection due to their worries about parental judgment.
Now, we’re the parents in this equation, and it’s alarming to realize that our kids are reluctant to talk to us. It’s strange because not long ago, we were the ones hiding things from our own parents. I’m 46, and I still avoid discussing anything sexual with mine.
The time has come to get real about these conversations. According to Bill Thompson, chief program officer for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, teens consistently report that their parents have the most significant influence on their decisions regarding sex, but they often feel uncomfortable discussing birth control. Many parents express a desire for their children to use protection, yet they hesitate to initiate the conversation. “For a lot of parents, it feels like giving permission,” Thompson explains. “Like, ‘You want to have sex? Go ahead. Just be safe.’ But that’s not the mindset of most parents.”
Even if we still feel young at heart, it’s time to step up and discuss birth control with our kids. They’re looking to us for direction, and we’re failing to provide it. The earlier we start these discussions, the better. “It’s essential not to wait until they’re 16 or 17 to talk about sex,” Thompson stresses. “If kids feel they can approach their parents without fear of a freak-out, it’s beneficial for everyone involved.”
And if all else fails, there’s always the yearbook.
For more insight into these topics, check out our other blog post on birth control conversations. If you’re considering home insemination options, be sure to visit Make a Mom for quality insemination syringe kits. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine serves as an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination information.
In summary, it’s crucial for parents to engage with their teens about birth control to ensure they feel supported and informed. By initiating these important conversations early on, we can help our children navigate their sexual health choices with confidence.
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