Recently, I attended a paint night at a charming little art studio, accompanied by my sister and her mother. These events are typically guided by an instructor who leads everyone through creating a similar painting. It’s a delightful gathering where mostly women enjoy each other’s company, sip some wine, and attempt to replicate the artist’s techniques.
As I glanced around, I noticed everyone meticulously following the instructor’s guidance, their brushes moving in perfect harmony. My sister and her mother were producing beautiful works of art, showcasing patience and skill. But suddenly, I felt an urge to break away from the norm. I pondered whether I had the courage to abandon the rules — to smear my paint and reinvent my own interpretation of a tree. As someone who usually plays it safe, this was a daunting thought. I began to move my brush erratically, blending colors into a deep shade of black. Oh no, I caught the instructor’s disapproving glance.
However, once I embraced my rebellious spirit, a wave of relaxation washed over me. It seemed no one was going to throw me out for being different, so I transformed my canvas into a dark sky, dotted with stars and a sun, alongside a bare tree and the phrase: “Be you.”
Looking back at this painting now, it feels almost prophetic. Am I being melodramatic? Perhaps. Yet, I can’t shake the feeling that the tree represents me — stripped bare after chemotherapy, with all my leaves scattered. The sun peeking through the night sky symbolizes hope. It’s a paradox that resonates deeply; life has a way of being both amusing and perplexing.
As October rolls in, I find myself grappling with a subtle sadness. It’s not overwhelming, just a gentle reminder of change, much like the leaves surrendering to the ground. Autumn signifies transformation, and now, it’s forever intertwined with my experience of cancer. October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month, bringing forth countless reminders in the form of pink ribbons, even on my cereal box.
This painting serves as a reminder that there is always a “before.” Life can shift unexpectedly, so it’s crucial to be brave, to defy norms when possible, and to listen to that inner voice urging you to color outside the lines. Be true to yourself. And don’t forget to perform your monthly self-exams and schedule those mammograms.
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In summary, life is unpredictable and often requires us to step out of our comfort zones. Embrace your individuality, and don’t shy away from expressing yourself creatively.
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