By: Jamie Thompson
Updated: Oct. 28, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 15, 2017
This is me rocking a dress that, according to societal standards, I shouldn’t be wearing. It’s not the first time I’ve donned it, and it certainly won’t be the last. I recognize it may not be the most flattering choice, but what I really want you to understand isn’t just “OMG, you look amazing!” or “Good for you!”—I want you to grasp the reason behind my choice to wear a dress that many might say I have no business in.
I snapped this photo while enjoying a girls’ weekend with my best friend, a couple of proseccos in, as we headed out for a lovely dinner. Some might say I appear a bit pregnant in this dress, and I admit, the front does have that effect. But that’s perfectly fine; I once carried two babies in that very spot. Now, it simply holds my cherished cheeseburgers and a glass of sauvignon blanc.
I purchased this dress for a getaway with my partner. When I tried it on, I knew it wasn’t designed for my 5-foot-2, 160-pound frame, yet I felt fantastic wearing it. I can’t quite explain why, but I did. Form-fitting clothing isn’t my usual style, yet I wanted this dress, so I bought it and felt proud of that decision.
The reality is, I’m currently at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been, aside from during my pregnancies. I’ve battled with my weight for years, and if you’ve faced similar struggles, you’ll understand that it goes much deeper than just physical appearance. It’s about the inner dialogue and how you perceive yourself. After four decades of telling myself that certain outfits are off-limits, I’ve decided to shift the narrative. I’m choosing to be kinder to myself.
As a work-from-home mom, I set my own schedule. I could easily dedicate hours each day to exercise if I wished, even run from here to Manhattan and back. However, my priorities lie elsewhere. Right now, I’m focused on keeping my life together, raising loving kids, nurturing friendships, and fostering a happy marriage.
For years, I’ve stood in front of the mirror, critiquing my appearance against an idealized version of myself. It’s draining. In a world filled with negativity and more pressing concerns, I’m hitting the “Decline” button on that self-doubt. I’m done with it. I want to embrace self-love, plain and simple.
Let me clarify—I’m not abandoning exercise or my health. I’ll still engage in physical activity because I desire a healthy body. What I’m doing is stepping back from the constant self-criticism. I’m muting the negative thoughts because, honestly, I care far more about my own perceptions than anyone else’s.
So here’s the gist: If I can slip into a dress deemed inappropriate for me to enjoy a night out with my husband or a fancy dinner with my best friend, you can too. And if I’m brave enough to share this picture with a wider audience, then you can certainly wear that outfit you’ve been hesitant about to a weekend barbecue.
If the challenge is convincing yourself, remember that life is too brief to fret over clothing choices that you believe don’t suit you.
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Summary
In conclusion, embracing the freedom to wear whatever makes you feel good is essential. It’s not about conforming to societal standards but about loving yourself and your choices. Prioritize self-kindness over self-criticism, and remember that life is too short to worry about clothing choices that you love.