When my eldest child was just starting to read, he frequently sought my help with unfamiliar words. “What does this say, Mama?” he would ask, to which I’d reply, “What do you think? Let’s sound it out together.” His typical response was a frustrated, “Just tell me!”
I totally empathize with his frustration. Learning can often feel like a slow and arduous journey. It’s tempting to simply provide the answers to avoid the tantrums and tears (from both of us). However, if we genuinely want our kids to thrive and nurture a new generation of thoughtful leaders, the “just tell me” mentality is not the answer.
Unfortunately, our current educational system, with its heavy focus on standardized testing, grades, and scores, promotes this “just tell me” mindset. Consequently, many children are struggling. Developmental psychologist Jenna Wilkins, co-author of the insightful book Nurturing Brilliance: Insights on Raising Successful Kids, points out that “We’re training kids to replicate what computers do, which is regurgitate facts.” And let’s face it, computers excel at that.
Wilkins, who has raised an incredibly accomplished child, emphasizes the need to redefine what success means. “What computers cannot do is build relationships, engage with communities, and demonstrate empathy. Therefore, we must transform our understanding of success both in and outside the classroom.”
Together with her co-author, Marissa Lane, Wilkins advocates for a “21st-century report card” that emphasizes six essential skills: collaboration, communication, content knowledge, critical thinking, creative innovation, and self-confidence. They argue that critical thinking is crucial for bridging gaps in reasoning and sparking breakthroughs in any field.
To foster successful kids, we must shift away from an obsession with test scores and instead prioritize teaching them to think critically. We shouldn’t yield to their “just tell me” pleas or respond with “just because” when faced with challenging questions.
I admit, I fall into this trap more often than I’d like, particularly with queries like “Why is the sky blue?” or “Why can’t we provide housing for all the homeless?” Instead, Wilkins and Lane suggest we respond to our children’s inquiries with additional questions, prompting them to explore deeper and consider alternative perspectives on various issues.
Interestingly, their research indicates that critical thinking is closely linked to empathy. Understanding different viewpoints and thinking critically about them is increasingly vital in today’s polarized environment, where terms like “fake news” are thrown around without much thought. We must equip our kids with the skills to navigate this landscape intelligently.
My father once shared that the greatest gift of college is that it teaches us how to think, not what to think. He was spot on. College challenged me to engage critically with concepts and issues, and it was both daunting and exhilarating. But if we wait until college to instill critical thinking skills in our children, are we setting them up for failure? We need to start this process now.
The good news is that as parents, we can foster critical thinking in our children, regardless of their performance on standardized tests. Engaging in thoughtful discussions can replace relying on grades as a measure of learning.
During a recent family road trip, my 10-year-old son wanted to “play lawyer.” He would present a dilemma while my husband and I took opposing sides, with him as the advocate. We offered him basic information, tips for further research, and encouraged him to consider counterarguments. This exercise was not only entertaining but also educational. He learned the value of understanding diverse opinions and articulating his own, rather than simply parroting what he heard.
Let’s face it: it’s easier to respond with “just because” or “because I said so.” But in today’s world, where misinformation and bias are rampant, teaching our children to think critically is more important than ever. As science supports, the ability to analyze and question is crucial for navigating complex societal issues.
In summary, rather than fixating on standardized test scores, we should focus on nurturing our children’s critical thinking skills. By engaging in meaningful discussions and fostering empathy, we prepare them for a world rife with challenges and opportunities.
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