I still recall my first foray into the world of Buy, Sell, Trade (B/S/T). My daughter was still in the hospital when my friends bombarded my social media with messages: “Emily, have you jumped into the B/S/T scene?”
Um, no. I typically steer clear of questionable online marketplaces, thank you very much.
But my friends chuckled, and the images of bizarre encounters quickly faded. I soon discovered that B/S/T is not some quirky subculture; it’s a vibrant, bustling community focused on selling secondhand children’s clothing online.
Yes, I said secondhand children’s clothing.
And nope, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck, ladies. I have two toddlers and I’m all too familiar with the state of their clothes at the end of the day—they look like they’ve been through a mud pit.
As I reflect on this, I realize how wild it sounds. So, I asked my friends the same question you might be pondering: Who in their right mind would spend money on used toddler outfits?
Apparently, a whole lot of people!
Now, I proudly consider myself a part of this passionate community, and I’m here to shed light on the fact that B/S/T is a big deal. You likely have friends and family you never suspected who are deeply immersed in this online underworld.
Curious? Stick with me.
If you’re thinking about dipping your toes into the mysterious waters of B/S/T, you’ll need a quick crash course—and a well-funded PayPal account. We’ll get to that shortly. If you want to fill your child’s wardrobe with adorable outfits, shop exclusively on Facebook, and navigate a competitive environment that resembles piranhas fighting over scraps, you’ll need to be prepared for the plunge.
No worries. I’ve got your back, mama.
As a newly initiated Closet Mom, I’m excited to share the five key lessons I’ve learned while navigating the quirky and enchanting world of B/S/T.
1. There’s a Secret Lingo
If the CIA were to recruit individuals to decode the English language, I’d know just the place to start. B/S/T mamas speak a language all their own. Take this post I saw recently: “24m PSN NWT WDW Maddie. PP Ready, immediate payment, please!”
Let me break it down for you: This woman has a 24-month size dress from the brand Well Dressed Wolf. She bought it online and hasn’t even received it yet, which is why it’s labeled “PSN” (pre-shipping-notice). The NWT? That means New With Tags—kind of a rookie detail since it’s clear she doesn’t even have it in her hands yet. (Insert eye-roll emoji here).
2. There’s No Such Thing as a Stupid Question
I’ll never forget the day I spotted that adorable blue and yellow dress. Perfect for Easter and just the right size for my LO (Little One, in case you were wondering). I commented, “Sold! Pending question!”
Immediately, a friend messaged me: “Emily, you can’t do that! You’ll get BANNED!”
Banned?! Seriously? I can get kicked off Cute Dress Island for asking a simple question?
In many B/S/T groups, posting “sold” means you’re officially the proud owner. It doesn’t matter if you had questions about that suspicious dark spot. Was it a shadow? A chocolate stain? Something worse? Doesn’t matter now, it’s yours. Better cough up the cash!
Which leads me to the ultimate faux pas: nonpayment.
3. The Dark Side of Buyers
If you decide you no longer want that brown-stained shirt, things may take a turn for the worse. There’s a group called “Sellers Beware” that warns about those who make claims but don’t follow through. It’s a tough crowd. Names are named, and once you’re in that group, there’s no fighting back. Buy the shirt, mama, or risk being sent to a digital purgatory.
4. Price Shaming is Real
I once thought $50 for a child’s tunic was absurd—until I saw one sell for $5,000. No joke. It’s a wild world we live in when someone can drop that much on a dress worn by five toddlers.
Ridiculous? Absolutely. But some people have deep pockets, and mocking them in the B/S/T world is a big no-no. It’s called “price shaming,” and it’s like casting a spell: do it, and you’re out. Poof!
5. B/S/T: A Mix of Madness and Community
Like most things in parenting, you have to sift through the nonsense to find the gems. I’ve seen mothers spend money they can’t afford on clothes their kids don’t need, and I’ve witnessed others being shunned for breaking unwritten rules.
But there’s more to the B/S/T community than just chaos. Those same moms who splurge on extravagant dresses? I’ve seen them auction items to help cover funeral costs for a fellow member. I’ve watched as women organized fundraisers for those escaping abusive situations. I even saw women send cherished pieces to a quilt maker to create a meaningful gift for a grieving mother who lost her little girl.
B/S/T, despite its quirks and price gouging, can be a beautiful world. I’m grateful I dove into these turbulent waters. The women I’ve met have welcomed me into their unique community. We share laughs, eye-rolls, and occasionally, we share closets. That’s when you know you’ve found your #BSTBestie (shout out to you, Sarah!).
So, if you’re thinking about giving it a try, I’ll see you on the boards! And if you spot my name, know that I’m here to help and happy to translate. After all, I’m fluent in this unusual language.
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Summary
Entering the B/S/T world can be a wild ride filled with unique jargon, specific etiquette, and a strong sense of community. Whether you’re looking to score fantastic deals on children’s clothing or simply connect with other parents, understanding the ins and outs of B/S/T is essential. While it may appear chaotic at first, the friendships and support that blossom in this space can make it all worthwhile.