When my son, Leo, arrived, he let out a wail that could shatter glass. After nursing, he would scream again, and soon enough, the nurses came to check on us, probably thinking something was seriously wrong. We joked later that it’s a sign of trouble when the pediatric staff recognizes your baby’s piercing cry. We tried every trick in the book, but eventually, we resorted to the one thing we swore we wouldn’t: we gave him a pacifier, just like the CDC states that 58.7% of American infants do. He sucked on it happily and drifted off to sleep. It was my first lesson as a new mom—some children have an oral fixation and need to suck.
Initially, we started with the hospital-issued pacifiers, the greenish-blue ones that made him look like a little catfish. They constantly fell out, leading to more crying. We tried the so-called orthodontic pacifiers, which claimed to prevent dental issues, but Leo had his heart set on the Binkie-Brand model, which was surprisingly hard to find. Isn’t it funny how kids always choose the least accessible or most expensive option? We eventually stocked up on it.
Thus, we embraced having a pacifier-loving child. After the initial shock, I found relief in knowing Leo had a genuine need to suck. When I say need, I mean that if he wasn’t nursing, he had a silicone pacifier in his mouth—he was practically addicted. According to orthodontist Kevin O’Brien, pacifier use is common among young children, with 60-80% of them relying on it. This is why there’s an entire industry dedicated to pacifiers, including holders and wipes, readily available at places like Target.
One significant benefit of pacifiers is their impact on sleep. A study mentioned in Scientific American found that using a pacifier during sleep can reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by 90%. This is a game-changer, especially since babies often lose their pacifiers and cry for a parent to help them out.
Another crucial aspect of being a pacifier kid is that it prevents finger-sucking. I, too, had that urge to suck, and when my well-meaning mother took away my pacifier at 10 months, I switched to my two middle fingers. I ended up sucking them for years, which led to braces and a permanent retainer. I wanted to spare Leo from that fate, so we stuck with the pacifier.
This pacifier phase lasted several years. According to the New York Times, prolonged use can have some adverse effects on oral cavity structures, but Leo’s adult teeth have come in well since he stopped using it three years ago. While there are studies linking increased pacifier use to ear infections and speech delays, Leo managed to talk around his binkie, and we brushed off any concerned comments from relatives. They often asked when he would give it up, but I refused to remove something that brought him comfort.
We gradually encouraged Leo to leave the pacifier behind. We started by leaving it in the car and eventually only using it at home. The last public outing with it was at church, where we knew it would keep him quiet during the service. One night, we decided to try bedtime without it. It was challenging, but we succeeded. By the age of 4, Leo was no longer “the paci kid.”
Although some might think we waited too long, the American Dental Association and the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommend that if children don’t stop using pacifiers on their own by age 4, parents should gently encourage them to wean off. Our experience aligned with this guidance.
In a Healthline article, Dr. Misee Harris, D.M.D., suggests that sucking habits typically only become problematic if they persist for an extended period. She also recommends using a ventilated pacifier, which can minimize sucking intensity and lower the risk of developmental issues. So, there’s really no need to worry about that silicone accessory dangling from your child’s mouth.
Parenting coach Barbara Desmarais notes that kids naturally let go of pacifiers when they’re ready. Leo, now at an age where he no longer needs a pacifier, has moved on to other interests. I remember being self-conscious about my finger-sucking habits, which stemmed from not having the chance to quit my pacifier naturally. Desmarais also mentions a friend whose children kept their pacifiers until they were 4; both are now thriving adults with no speech issues.
Will Leo need braces? Maybe. It could be due to his pacifier use or our family history of dental issues. But what I do know is that he needed that pacifier, and I’m grateful we had the courage to support him as new parents. He was that paci kid for a significant time, but it didn’t harm him. Instead, it provided him comfort and security in various situations. So, if your child is happily sucking on a pacifier, don’t stress. If they’re animatedly narrating their favorite show while popping it in and out, just stay calm and supportive.
And to those who disapprove, remember that we’re raising a child who has a genuine need to suck—similar to how adults rely on coffee or chewing gum. Everyone is content, and the only downside is the expense of constantly purchasing pacifiers. So, let’s focus on being supportive rather than judgmental. If you ever find yourself in need of a pacifier wipe after a drop in the parking lot, don’t hesitate to offer a helping hand.
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In summary, my experience as a pacifier parent taught me that it’s essential to trust your child’s natural development. When the time comes, they will let go of their pacifier on their own, and it won’t cause lasting harm.