Updated: June 24, 2021
Originally Published: July 5, 2017
You might think we’re a bit out there when I say this, but hear me out. Perhaps you envision our children glued to screens, endlessly lost in shows, Minecraft, and YouTube chaos, completely devoid of fresh air or social interactions. You might even suspect that I’m lazy (which, okay, sometimes I am) or that I simply don’t care about my kids’ futures, including their ACT scores. Yet, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
The reality is, I wouldn’t be able to keep tabs on how long my kids spend on their devices in a given day even if I wanted to. I refuse to run around with a timer shouting, “Time’s almost up, kiddos!” because honestly, that would drive me insane if someone did it to me while I was focused on something. It’s just not my style.
I know my strengths and weaknesses as a parent. I’m not the kind of mom who can keep a chore chart organized or stick to a weekly dinner plan. My calendar is a chaotic mix of appointments, and we’re lucky if we arrive anywhere on time. How do you all do it, organized parents? (That’s a rhetorical question, by the way.)
My parenting approach leans more toward improvisation and maintaining a positive mindset while doing so. Sure, I’m great at dropping everything for an ice cream run with the kids, but monitoring their screen time daily? That’s not a priority for me. If I sense they’ve been glued to the screen for too long or if their whining escalates to a pitch that sends the neighbor’s dogs into a frenzy, I encourage them to step outside or engage in a creative activity like reading or painting.
This method works well for us. We keep an eye on what they watch and establish “tech-free” zones, such as during meal times. While we don’t allow them to stay indoors all day, we also don’t micromanage their screen time. There are no timers in our household.
Interestingly enough, this approach aligns fairly well with the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines on screen time. They suggest creating a family media plan that considers the health, education, and entertainment needs of each child, as well as the family as a whole. For ages 2 to 5, they recommend a maximum of one hour of screen time per day. But honestly, getting my little ones to sit still for five minutes is a challenge in itself, so I’m not overly concerned. The essence of their message is to use common sense.
My kids aren’t the type to want to be glued to screens all day long, which makes the situation more manageable. Right now, they’re busy seeing who can hop on a pogo stick the longest and earlier today, they built a fort outside with branches and spent hours playing in our VW van. They haven’t touched a screen today, and I haven’t had to say a word. Shhh…
Having no screen limits encourages self-monitoring, self-regulation, and autonomy. I don’t feel the need to hover over them, worrying about whether their brains are turning to mush from too much technology. Of course, there are days when I do tell them to “go be bored” because they’re struggling to pull themselves away from the enticing glow of their devices. But as long as they’re not acting like dazed zombies, I’m okay with it. Technology has its benefits, and I can appreciate that they enjoy it just as much as I do.
In today’s world, we face challenges that previous generations didn’t. Many of us work from home, modeling on-screen behavior for hours. Technology is here to stay, and navigating it for our families is essential. Screen time enforcement isn’t a battle I want to fight, so I mostly allow them to self-regulate.
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Summary
In our household, we don’t impose screen time limits; instead, we focus on self-regulation and maintaining a balanced approach to technology. By creating tech-free zones and monitoring what our kids watch, we encourage them to engage in various activities without micromanaging their screen time. This method fosters independence and aligns with the American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidelines, allowing us to navigate modern challenges while ensuring our children thrive.