Kids have an innate ability to find humor in the most unexpected places, and flatulence is no exception. The laughter that erupts when they let one rip is contagious — whether it’s loud, silent, or something in between. As an adult, I still find myself stifling a chuckle when I inadvertently release a “silent but deadly” gas on a crowded subway or in an elevator, often scanning the faces around me to see if anyone catches the scent. Dr. Seuss once said, “Adults are just outdated children,” and I couldn’t agree more.
However, in the realm of adulthood, flatulence can quickly become a source of embarrassment. For instance, during a meeting at work, if I accidentally let one slip, it can lead to awkward glances. Interestingly, I often don’t even notice it unless someone else does. My 4-year-old son, however, has a radar for these situations.
Recently, I encountered a trivia fact that claimed the average person passes gas about 14 times a day. Curious, I shared this with a friend, and we both realized we exceeded that number significantly. My son not only detects the times I do pass gas, but he also assumes I’m the culprit behind any sound or smell that resembles flatulence. The creak of a door, a pop from a piece of gum, or even an odd noise from the street leads to his enthusiastic declaration, “Mommy, you farted!”
This instinct to call me out is relentless, regardless of the setting. Whether we’re in line at the grocery store or surrounded by potential new mom friends at a birthday party, he feels the need to announce my supposed transgressions. My silent plea for restraint is met with his innocent exuberance, reminiscent of the time he loudly proclaimed to a stranger, “The baby is coming out of your vagina!” at a store. Clearly, I had underestimated his comprehension of social cues.
At home, his fascination with potty words knows no bounds. He’ll often loudly exclaim, “No toot’s too big, no fart’s too small!” during the theme song of his favorite show. When I attempt to intervene, he responds with bewilderment, as if he’s genuinely confused about why I’d want to stop him from enjoying himself.
When it comes to our dinner conversations, they often take an amusing turn as well. I’ll ask him what he wants to eat, and he might respond, “Tooty poop with farts on the side,” erupting in laughter. His fixation on these words has made me consider more unconventional approaches to curb his potty humor. I even thought about serving him something phony, like a piece of dog poop on a plate, just to see if it would finally put an end to his antics.
After failing to convince him to be more discreet, I decided to lean into the humor. One evening, I asked, “Hey, Colin, want to hear a super silly song?” to which he eagerly replied. I began singing, “Beans, beans, the magical fruit…” hoping to turn our dinner into a giggle fest while perhaps sneaking in some vegetables.
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In summary, while dealing with a child’s fascination with flatulence can be challenging, embracing the humor and finding creative ways to address it can make parenting a little lighter.