As a physician and a parent, I want to extend a heartfelt acknowledgment to those navigating the challenging yet rewarding journey of raising young children. I remember the chaotic days filled with responsibilities, where it often felt like there was too much to handle and not enough emotional energy to give. Who would want to cling to such exhausting moments—feeling stretched thin, every bit of your being utilized like resources in a careful ecological system?
I can still recall the tension in my back that appeared after the arrival of my third child. There was a day when I decided to place my 5- and 2-year-olds in the bathtub, hoping to contain their boundless energy long enough to feed the baby. Sitting on the edge of the tub, with the hard corners of the stool pressing into my legs, I awkwardly nursed the newborn while keeping a watchful eye on the older two. It was a challenging moment, yet somehow it felt like a small victory—an effective strategy to survive the day. But, just like that, I was drained—emotionally and physically.
As time went on, the baby learned to sit up independently, and my eldest began to read. I could fill the tub with a modest amount of water, squeeze in the baby and my now-3-year-old, and step into the shower while my first-grader happily flipped through a book nearby. I couldn’t indulge in anything luxurious, but the fact that I could wash my hair felt like a triumph in itself!
Reflecting on those earlier routines, I realize how far we’ve come. Now that my children are 7, 5, and 2 ½, I can step away while they enjoy their bath. If I turn off the music and stay alert for unexpected splashes or cries, I can finish the dishes and tidy the kitchen. Their playful banter fills the air, and I find joy in their creative games—often resulting in delightful scenarios that make me smile.
Physical activity has also become a part of our routine now. My youngest sits in a stroller surrounded by board books while my older kids ride their scooters alongside. “Let’s race, Mommy! Go faster!” they cheer. Sure, there are falls and moments of boredom, but these little interruptions are just part of our interval training.
Of course, there are still days when I crave a brief escape—maybe just a touch of solitude to recharge—but those feelings have become less frequent. I’ve transformed from a parent constantly tethered to my children’s needs into one who can indulge in moments of peace, even if it’s just a brief stroll through the park.
This shift isn’t because my children have become reclusive teenagers, but because our bond has grown stronger. Each night, my son still asks, “Can you come into my bed?” and I gladly do. Storytime is no longer a race against the clock; now, I can savor each page while they dry off and put away their clothes, creating space for connection without the frantic pace.
Yes, there were many missed opportunities during those early years, but I haven’t lost out on the joy of parenting. It turns out that there’s ample time between the trials of postpartum life and the eventual independence of my children. I find myself on the floor, constructing elaborate train tracks or playing chase at the park. I cherish these moments, capturing their essence in my memory, forever etched in my heart.
Indeed, they say that the days are long but the years are short, and that sentiment rings true. There comes a time when the hours feel just right, when you can breathe in the love without that instinctual need to survive overwhelming you.
So, dear parents, don’t burden yourselves with guilt if you can’t always find the joy in everything. Survive today, and when you’re ready, the roses will be waiting for you to stop and smell them. After all, their fragrant beauty will always be there to welcome you back.
Warmly,
Dr. Emily Parker, Parent of Slightly Older Children
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Summary: This piece captures the journey of parenting young children, emphasizing the challenges and joys of nurturing while managing daily life. It offers encouragement to parents, highlighting the importance of connection and patience during the early chaotic years, ultimately leading to moments of joy and fulfillment.