One day, my children will undoubtedly ask me how I knew their father was the one. Perhaps they’ll be captivated by a romantic story or a movie and start dreaming about their own love stories. Or maybe they’ll find themselves on the verge of adulthood, contemplating a significant relationship and pondering the depth of commitment.
When that time comes, I plan to share my honest perspective, tailored to their maturity and readiness for genuine conversation. I hope to instill in them a belief in love, despite the doubts that often cloud our understanding of it. My own journey with their father was filled with uncertainty, stemming more from my past experiences than anything about his character.
I remember early in our relationship when he surprised me with a collection of my favorite romantic comedies, having learned what I cherished through our countless discussions. In return, I opened up my slightly jaded heart, expressing my love but with an array of conditions, which I felt compelled to list at a candlelit dinner on Valentine’s Day.
The Importance of Honest Conversations About Love
I believe it’s crucial to have frank discussions about love with our children and ourselves. Love can manifest in grand gestures like bouquets of roses or candlelit dinners, but those moments can often lead to misinterpretations. It’s easy to feel affection during the high points, especially when someone is making all the right moves. My husband excels at those moments, but I won’t focus on them when I share our story.
True love also shines through the challenges—the losses, sadness, and heartache. These are the times when you seek comfort in those you love, and sometimes, those dark moments can clarify what love really means. I have felt love deeply during my lowest times, but I’ve come to realize that those aren’t the defining moments of our marriage.
Finding Love in Ordinary Moments
Instead, the love I want to describe to my kids is found in the ordinary moments of daily life. The love that compels my husband to bring me water each night, knowing I’ll need it after tending to our baby. The love that drives him to tell our children, “Mommy is the smart one,” ensuring they know how much he admires me. The love that persists even when we argue in front of them, modeling respectful disagreement.
It’s a tapestry of small moments and conversations that reflects our bond. To illustrate this further, I will share a specific memory with my children that occurred just recently.
A Humorous Memory
My husband is an easy-going guy, but he’s not typically one for themed parties. I, on the other hand, revel in any opportunity to dress up. So when we were invited to an ’80s party, I was ecstatic and planned my outfit for weeks. It didn’t even cross my mind to ask my husband about his costume choices.
Imagine my surprise when he casually suggested, “Should I shave my beard and go for a mustache tonight?” Not wanting to push him into something he wasn’t keen on, I encouraged him to do whatever felt right.
A moment later, I heard a decisive “Forget it,” followed by buzzing noises. When I turned around, there he was, my husband, sporting the most ridiculous, creepy mustache I had ever seen.
In that moment, my love for him surged. I laughed and said, “This is exactly why I married you—your commitment to the theme!”
One day, I’ll recount this amusing memory to my kids. It may not be the most romantic or grand moment, but it beautifully reminds me that after years of marriage and three children, I still see my husband as my best friend. He is willing to do anything to bring a smile to my face, and I hope my children will find that same type of love in their lives.
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Summary
This piece reflects on love and marriage through the lens of everyday moments rather than grand gestures. It emphasizes the importance of honesty in discussing love with children and highlights a humorous personal anecdote to illustrate the bond between partners. The author aims to inspire her children to find a love that thrives in the mundane, supportive moments of life.