It all started with a chaotic swim class. I found myself trying to manage four children at a community pool on a bleak Monday afternoon. I was juggling my active 2-year-old, who had a knack for darting off, while my curious 1-year-old wanted to explore every inch of the changing room. After a stressful lesson, we squeezed into a small space, and I spent the time urging my 5-year-old twins to hurry up. By the time we reached the car, I was overwhelmed, the little ones were cranky, and my twins were tired of my nagging. It was clear: something had to change.
That year, my husband and I embraced the journey of fostering children. In addition to our twins, we welcomed two more little ones, which complicated our already busy schedule. We had swimming classes, tee-ball with a baby in a carrier, and gymnastics requiring morning drop-offs. The constant hustle and bustle of managing multiple activities for our family felt relentless.
It’s common for families with several kids to be caught up in this whirlwind of busyness. We often find ourselves carpooling, scheduling meals on the fly, and planning social outings weeks ahead. While encouraging our children to engage in various activities is essential, I began to question whether this pace was truly necessary.
That pivotal Monday evening, as I secured the kids in their car seats after swimming, I realized that our lives didn’t have to be this hectic. My husband and I discussed our situation and concluded that we needed to recalibrate our family dynamic before it took a toll on our well-being.
We decided to take a break from all extracurriculars, granting ourselves the freedom to breathe. Suddenly, our after-school hours were unscheduled, and our weekends were no longer packed with activities. I felt the tension physically lift from my body. We had recently taken on the significant commitment of foster parenting, yet we hadn’t adjusted our lives accordingly. The relief we experienced that winter was nothing short of transformative.
As spring approached, we allowed each child to select one activity with a once-a-week commitment. If it fell on a Saturday, even better. My daughter opted for cheerleading, my son chose soccer, and we enrolled them in swimming—three activities, one weekday commitment, and a couple of weekend events. This balance has persisted for the past three years.
While this approach may not suit everyone, it certainly works for us. It’s not about guilt; it’s a reminder that we have options. If a busy lifestyle invigorates you, that’s fantastic. But if you feel the weight of constant activity like we did, know that your family’s identity doesn’t have to revolve around busyness.
Now, our kids are active, social, and happy, with only one scheduled evening out each week. Our nights are calmer, allowing time for my husband to hit the gym, the kids to unwind after dinner, and for us to enjoy spontaneous outings or friendly gatherings. They may not acquire every skill available, and they might later wish for a different path, but I hope they cherish the memories of quality time spent with family. I want them to look back and recall the feeling of open weekends, the comfort of coming home, and knowing there are no immediate obligations.
I want our home to be a welcoming place for their friends, where we can easily decide to go out for dinner, catch a movie, or engage in simple card games at the kitchen table. These formative years should ground them in a sense of belonging to our family and home before they dive into their own busy schedules filled with friends, homework, and activities.
There will always be time for a busy lifestyle; why not embrace the slow pace while we can?
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Summary:
This article discusses the transformative decision to step away from a busy family life and prioritize quality time with children. The author shares experiences that led to a more balanced schedule, emphasizing the importance of choices in parenting. By reducing commitments, the family enjoys a slower pace, fostering deeper connections and memories.