As a physician and a parent, I’ve observed a significant shift in my relationship with my children as they’ve grown older. My 14-year-old son, Jake, recently dashed into my home office, dropping his backpack with a thud before racing up the stairs. Without so much as a knock, he plopped down in the chair opposite me, eager to share his thoughts on the math quiz he felt optimistic about and his plans for the upcoming weekend.
In that moment, my fingers froze over the keyboard. My work was important, but the rarity of such interruptions from him made it clear that I needed to give him my full attention. As a younger child, Jake rarely interrupted me, and I had often yearned for those precious moments of solitude to complete a thought or finish a task. I remember the days when I could barely sip my coffee while it was still warm, or when a simple phone call required a level of finesse to avoid constant interruptions.
From Toddlers to Teenagers
When my children were toddlers, I longed for just a few uninterrupted minutes—whether it was to enjoy my coffee, have a conversation with a friend, or even just use the restroom without an audience. As they grew, I trained them to respect my space, encouraging them to wait their turn, knock on closed doors, and politely say “excuse me.” Initially, they struggled with this concept, as their immediate needs often took precedence.
However, as my children matured into their teenage years, the dynamic changed. They became more adept at holding back their impulses, but I soon realized it wasn’t just about following the rules; they simply didn’t require my constant presence any longer. At first, I welcomed this newfound independence. It allowed me to focus on my medical practice and even squeeze in some exercise. I felt a sense of freedom, a glimpse of life beyond full-time parenting.
Missing the Little Moments
Yet, with this independence came a bittersweet reality. Now that my children are busy with school, extracurricular activities, and socializing with friends, I find myself missing those little moments that once filled our home. I long for the days when they sought my help with their shoelaces or cuddled up next to me while I was trying to work. The simplicity of sharing apple slices or cutting sandwiches into perfect shapes evokes a sense of nostalgia that I can’t shake.
Everyone often tells parents that the days are long but the years are short, and it’s a sentiment that resonates deeply as my children enter their teenage years. I won’t pretend that every moment of motherhood is perfect—after all, there are times when chaos reigns supreme. However, I’ve come to appreciate the interruptions that still occur. Soon enough, my kids will be off on their own adventures, and until then, I want to cherish every spontaneous moment they decide to share with me.
Resources for Parents
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Embracing Every Moment
In summary, as my children grow and become more independent, I find myself valuing the moments they choose to interrupt me. While it’s easy to get caught up in work and responsibilities, those fleeting interactions are reminders of the precious time we have together. Parenting is a journey filled with both challenges and rewards, and I’m learning to embrace each moment, interrupted or not.