A little over a year ago, I took a glance around my home and realized there was only one picture of me displayed. Just one. It was a black-and-white snapshot from my wedding day, dancing with my spouse nearly 15 years ago. Strangely, it didn’t even show my face—just my back. That was the sole representation of me in my own space.
I’ve never been a fan of being in front of the camera. Unlike my sisters, who seem to shine in photos, I have always found an escape route whenever a camera was pulled out. I made an art of avoiding the lens, crafting excuses to hide behind it. I didn’t like my smile, my hair, my nose, my thighs—the list went on.
This avoidance meant that I missed countless precious moments with my kids. No pictures of me on Christmas mornings, no snapshots on Easter, and certainly none of me alongside them on their first days of school. I was always the one behind the camera during their big birthday celebrations.
When flipping through their baby books, it was glaringly obvious: I was absent. Sure, there were a few photos people took when they visited after my children were born, but I shoved those away in a drawer. My kids were my subjects, and I felt unworthy to be in the frame.
Then one day, I stumbled upon a powerful post on social media. A woman I didn’t know, celebrating her 40th birthday, shared a makeup-free selfie, showcasing her insecurities. Her long, braided hair framed her face as she spoke candidly about her own self-doubt. I found myself drawn to her honesty and authenticity. When I looked at her, I saw none of the flaws she described.
After being a mom for over a decade, I realized how distorted my self-view had been and how few pictures I had where I wasn’t deliberately cropping myself out. It struck me as both sad and absurd.
If I couldn’t embrace myself as I am, how could I expect anyone else to? We all have insecurities, but true beauty lies in owning every part of ourselves, flaws and all. I may not conform to conventional beauty standards, but I’m here, living life alongside my children, and I want them to remember me as part of those moments.
Often, we focus on the little things we wish we could change: a firmer stomach, longer legs, shinier hair. But when I look at your photos, I see you as a whole—an incredible, beautiful person. You’re not just your size, your smile, or your hair; you’re so much more.
So, go ahead, take that picture. Share a selfie—whether you’re all glammed up, just rolled out of bed, or in the midst of feeding your baby. Get in the frame with your kids, even if it means asking someone else to snap the shot. Capturing these moments brings joy, and life unfolds in the here and now, even if mascara is absent and your hair is in a messy bun.
Let’s stop viewing ourselves as fragmented pieces and start seeing the complete picture. When I see you, I want to see all of you. By sharing your true self, you might help another woman recognize her own beauty.
For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the Cleveland Clinic. You can also explore how to empower yourself with the right tools at this trusted site for at-home insemination kits. And if you’re interested in understanding more about the journey of self-acceptance, read our post on the importance of self-love.
Summary
Mothers often criticize themselves harshly, leading to a lack of self-portraits and missed memories with their children. Embracing every aspect of ourselves, including flaws, allows us to appreciate our beauty and share that with others. By stepping in front of the camera, we capture priceless moments that our families will cherish.