Dear Partner,
I want you to know how much I love you. Truly, I do. But right now, I feel completely worn out—so exhausted that even the thought of my fatigue feels like another chore. Can you understand that? I’m not just tired; I’m utterly drained.
As a working mother, I often feel like an outsider in a world where other moms seem to have it all together. I grapple with guilt for not being home constantly with our children, as if that’s the benchmark for being a “good” mom. I fully recognize the immense effort that stay-at-home moms put in. I appreciate it; I just function differently. For me, work feels like a necessary escape, a chance to feel accomplished beyond motherhood, even if it’s equally demanding.
I want our children to see the value of hard work, and I believe they’ll be better for it. Yet, the guilt of being away never really disappears. I don’t want you to think I see you as inadequate; you’re a fantastic husband and father. Rather, I’m asking for help to lighten my load.
When you see me arriving home, juggling work documents, grocery bags, and backpacks, a little assistance would go a long way. And please, keep track of your own keys and wallet—it would make life a bit easier for both of us.
Another challenge I face is loneliness. Many of my friends are also working moms, so our schedules are packed. The days of leisurely get-togethers have mostly vanished, and I miss that camaraderie. I need a social circle, so it would mean a lot if you could encourage me to maintain those friendships and make time for them.
This means you’ll need to take charge at home while I step out for a bit. I know you’d appreciate a detailed to-do list, but to be honest, I’m too fatigued to create one. Still, I’ll give it a shot. Please handle dinner, homework checks, and bedtime routines, so our kids can have the structure they need. Don’t forget to get them to brush their teeth and read a story; it makes all the difference for their sleep.
After all that, if you could ensure the kitchen is tidy, the pets are fed, and the laundry is dealt with, I would be incredibly thankful. If you happen to find mildew in the clothes, just run them through another rinse cycle—it’s a small task that saves us from larger headaches later.
I know I have control issues, and I’m working on them. When I return from my night out, I’ll do my best not to nitpick your dinner choices, even if it’s a mix of carbs. I appreciate everything you do.
Here’s the truth: I feel overwhelmed and like I’m falling short in every aspect of my life. It’s as if I’m only giving 60% in each area, and that’s not okay. I want to strive for more, even though I might not always hit the mark. Could you please remind me that I’m doing a good job? Your encouragement in parenting and work means the world to me.
I also crave physical care. I’m not only talking about intimacy—though that would be nice if the moment feels right. A bubble bath, some candles, and a quiet 20 minutes to myself would help me recharge.
I have to head back to my responsibilities now—there are noses to wipe, emails to send, and homework to tackle.
Love,
Your hardworking wife