After the birth of our third child, my partner, Sarah, began to notice dark spots on her skin and decided to start using makeup. I found myself in a surprising position—encouraging her to go without it.
“You don’t need makeup,” I said one morning as she applied foundation in the bathroom. “You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
We had been together for over a decade, navigating the challenges of parenthood and life together. I remembered the first time I saw her with makeup—at our wedding. A hint of blush and eyeliner highlighted her natural beauty, but it was her radiant smile that truly captivated me. There was something about the way she carried herself, her laughter, and her warm spirit that made my heart flutter.
As she emerged from the bathroom, her expression conveyed a mix of confidence and uncertainty. “It’s not just about how you perceive me,” she replied, her voice calm yet firm. “I know you think I’m beautiful, but I don’t feel that way anymore. These blemishes make me self-conscious, and I don’t want others to notice them.”
Our conversation turned into a back-and-forth debate, with me insisting on her beauty and her expressing feelings of inadequacy. I shared how her smile lit up a room and how her personality drew me in. But her response struck me deeply: “Your view isn’t the only one that matters.”
In that moment, I realized she was speaking to a universal truth about womanhood. After our discussion, Sarah continued to wear makeup daily. However, I soon noticed that my perception of her hadn’t changed; her essence remained unchanged. Her smile still lit up the room, and her humor was just as infectious.
What shifted was her self-image. My understanding of beauty had always been influenced by societal norms, crafted by marketing and popular culture. I believed that my love and acceptance should suffice for her to feel beautiful. However, it became evident that wearing makeup boosted her confidence and helped her navigate her role as a mother and partner.
Ultimately, the choice to wear makeup rested with Sarah, and I wholeheartedly supported her decision. One morning, as she prepared for the day, I reiterated my feelings: “No matter what, to me, you are beautiful. But I want you to feel that way too.”
She smiled at me, and without saying a word, she leaned in for a kiss, expressing her appreciation.
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In conclusion, it’s vital to recognize that beauty is not solely defined by one’s appearance but also by the confidence one feels within.