He’s started his signature sleepy dance—the boneless wiggle that can only be described as the “snake-in-a-woven-basket” maneuver. I attempt my best snake-charming skills, but alas, he always manages to outsmart me. So, I decide to take him on a quick trip to the store, knowing that by the time we make it back to the car, he’ll be fast asleep. The plan works like a charm, and I gently lift his car seat, tiptoeing towards the front door. Just as I’m about to make my escape, our neighbor, Dave, pulls up and rolls down his window.
I quickly turn the car seat to show him the snoozing baby and wave my arms like a madwoman.
“Is he asleep, huh?!” he shouts.
And just like that, my little one is wide awake.
“Oh, look! He’s up!” Do you want to chat for ten minutes now? Because I really don’t.
Once Dave finally leaves, I notice my baby’s eyelids are drooping again. Yesssssss. I insert the keys into the door, open it slowly, and creak it as quietly as possible. He stirs a bit but keeps his eyes shut. Note to self: buy WD-40 for that door!
Oh no, I forgot to put the dogs outside before I left. Suddenly, two furry tornadoes come charging into the living room, barking like they’ve just won the lottery. I try to shush them, explaining that the baby needs peace and quiet, but they respond with a collective “We don’t care!” howl.
By now, my son’s eyes are wide open, observing the chaos. Time to act fast! I scoop him out of his car seat, cuddle him close, and shove the dogs outside.
As I rock him gently, his head nestled on my shoulder, I feel him drifting off again. But just then, a loud knock on the door shatters the tranquility. He jolts up, and I fling open the door in frustration. It’s the UPS driver, already halfway back to his truck, having decided to “ding-dong ditch” my package that didn’t even require a signature.
At this point, I realize my usual lullabies won’t cut it. So, I plop down on the couch and start breastfeeding him. After about ten minutes of that, he’s back in dreamland. I kick my feet up, lean my head back, and close my eyes. Maybe I’ll snag a quick nap too; I could really use one.
As I begin to relax, the soundtrack of a horror movie blares from outside. My heart races until I realize it’s just the gardeners. My son locks eyes with me and gives a cheeky smirk, weighing his options on whether to sleep or not. With a big thumbs down, he decides his ten-minute snooze has given him the energy of a hundred men, and my dreams of daytime napping are dashed.
I internally sigh, whip up an iced coffee, and remind myself that naps are overrated anyway. There’s always tomorrow!
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