Parenting is a journey filled with surprises, and after welcoming our second child nearly a year ago, I quickly realized that I had to reacquaint myself with some skills I’d long forgotten. Thankfully, it was a bit like riding a bike—albeit a bike laden with toys, crumbs, and the occasional baby spit-up, all while battling extreme fatigue. So far, we’ve been coping, but as any seasoned parent knows, being in charge of a 6-year-old and a baby means staying prepared for anything at a moment’s notice.
The older child can manage on his own at times, especially until it’s time for homework, bedtime, or meals. However, the baby requires constant attention, making it essential for me to be on alert. Through this experience, I’ve gathered some wisdom and identified what I personally need to get through each day. This list excludes all the necessities for the kids, like diapers and snacks—that’s their business. This is all about me.
Here’s a rundown of what I need to survive a day filled with parenting challenges:
- An endless supply of caffeine
- Aspirin (and maybe Xanax, no judgment)
- A little relaxation aid (marijuana, perhaps?)
- A discreet flask for emergencies
- A quality nap (for the kids, and yes, for me too)
- A few moments of peace and quiet
- Did I mention paper towels? All the paper towels!
- Five minutes to shower in peace
- Five minutes to enjoy solitude on the toilet
- Five minutes to shed a few tears
- Five minutes to be alone while undergoing a dental procedure—I’ll take anything, as long as the kids aren’t climbing on me asking for snacks
- My phone, to stay connected (or escape)
- No more laundry, please
- A soft pillow to rest my head
- A pillow to scream into when necessary
- Just a bit of cooperation from my little ones
- Some breathing space
- A wish for their bedtime to come sooner
- A plea for my bedtime to arrive even faster
- A LITTLE BIT OF HELP FROM MY PARTNER, PLEASE
This is everything you need to endure a regular day of parenting small children. Whatever you do, don’t forget the paper towels—or consider a muzzle!
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In summary, parenting small children is a whirlwind experience that requires both practical tools and a good sense of humor. With a bit of preparation and the right mindset, you can navigate through the chaos.