As a medical professional, I often observe the curious stares from non-parents, their expressions a mix of confusion and judgment as they take in our casual attire of sweatpants and Crocs. They tilt their heads and wonder why parents seem to have abandoned the very notion of looking presentable. Yes, we’re aware of our appearance; no one wins a fashion contest in Crocs. Those holes seem to symbolize the loss of dignity.
Before you pass judgment or make comments like, “I’ll never let myself go like that when I have kids,” let me share the realities of parenting that you might not fully grasp.
The Reality of Adulting for Parents
Many people talk about adulting as if it’s just about paying bills or waking up early for work. For parents, however, adulting is a different beast—especially once children enter the picture. It involves sacrifices, but not in the way you might think. It starts with rising at the crack of dawn—think 5 a.m.—to prepare lunches, wake sleepy children, and negotiate the wearing of actual clothes. It’s dark outside when parents find themselves arguing with little ones about changing their underwear.
And once you finally get the kids loaded up and ready to go, there’s little time left for self-care. You’ve poured all your energy into them, and by the time you drop them off, your hair is a mess, and you’re still in the sweatpants and oversized T-shirt from last night. You’re running late, as always, so you slip on the most convenient shoes—hello, Crocs!
The exhaustion from midnight wake-ups for sips of water or searching for misplaced toys takes its toll. By the time you return home from the school run, the thought of getting dressed in something with a proper waistband feels more like a chore than a priority. You have a list of tasks to tackle—cleaning, laundry, errands—and taking time to look presentable just doesn’t fit into the schedule.
Before you know it, it’s mid-afternoon, and you’ve only managed to check off a fraction of your to-do list. The toddler refused to nap, or you had to scramble back to school because your child forgot their lunch. And then the homework battles begin. By this point, the idea of putting in the effort to look good seems pointless; it’s nearly dinner time, and you’re still in your casual getup.
The Shift in Priorities
Now, I get it; it might sound a bit bleak, especially if you place a high value on style. But here’s the twist: with your first child, you’ll probably resist this change. You’ll wake up extra early, dress yourself nicely, and wonder what’s wrong with those other parents in their Crocs. But as you have more children, unless there’s a significant event on the horizon, getting dressed up will likely slip down your list of priorities. It’s not that parents don’t care about their appearance; it’s simply that looking trendy becomes less significant compared to the chaos of daily life.
This is the essence of adulting. It’s about embracing the reality of parenthood—buying a minivan, opting for practical clothing, and accepting that some days will involve sitting in the school drop-off line with a messy bun while questioning why your child decided to go shoeless. It’s about prioritizing the needs of your family over your own vanity.
The Joys of Parenting
If you’re still reading this, perhaps you’re thinking, “I’m never having kids.” But here’s the silver lining: watching your child thrive in school brings a joy that far outweighs the fleeting satisfaction of looking good in public. A cozy hug from a toddler is worth more than any fashionable outfit you could wear. After surviving countless sleepless nights and navigating the chaos of parenting, an extra hour of sleep often feels far better than the effort of getting ready.
Of course, parents do clean up for important events; we go to work, attend gatherings, and have responsibilities that require us to look presentable. But when you see a parent in the store rocking Crocs and sweatpants, consider that they had more pressing matters to attend to that morning. Understand that for parents, looking good at Target isn’t the same as it used to be. And that’s perfectly okay.
Further Reading
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In summary, while parents may appear disheveled at times, it’s a reflection of the prioritization of their children’s needs over personal appearance. Embracing this reality is part of the journey of adulting that comes with having kids.