As a mother of three—ages 14, 11, and 5—I’ve accumulated 30 years of parenting experience. Does that make me an expert? Not quite. What I’ve learned is that parenting is an ongoing journey that demands flexibility, resilience, and a generous amount of self-compassion. Both we and our children are always changing. What worked for my eldest—like strict nap routines—might not suit my youngest at all. I’m not sure I’m a better parent to my third child than I was to my first, but I’ve certainly learned to determine what truly matters for each of my kids and for myself. Here are some key insights I’ve gathered along the way:
- Perfection is a Myth.
No one is perfect, including you and your child. Forget those idealized Pinterest scenarios, and you’ll find more joy in the process. Before my oldest was born, I immersed myself in parenting books and classes, convinced I could achieve perfection. Spoiler alert: you will make choices you later regret, and that’s perfectly fine. Parenting is about finding what works for you and your family amidst the imperfections. - Less is More.
My youngest often finds joy in simple things—like coloring the inside of a cardboard box. I used to feel guilty about not engaging in every activity with her, but now I realize that allowing children to be bored can foster creativity and independence. Sometimes, doing less is far more beneficial. - Listen More, Talk Less.
Children deeply crave to be heard. As someone who tends to dominate conversations, I’ve learned that asking too many questions can backfire. Instead, I focus on smiling and actively listening when they share their thoughts. Feeling acknowledged is invaluable at any age. - Kids Can Be Challenging.
Let’s face it: kids can be difficult. Their behavior often stems from not knowing better, testing boundaries, or simply seeking attention. I no longer take their actions personally or assume full responsibility for their behavior. Instead, I address it calmly and guide them towards better choices. - Missing Events is Not a Catastrophe.
I can’t attend every school event, sports game, or recital, nor do I want to. I used to feel guilty about not being present, but I’ve come to understand that my kids can thrive without my attendance. They adjust, and I get a breather. - You Are the Authority.
No matter how chaotic things get—whether it’s a toddler melting down or a teenager rebelling—you remain in charge. I’ve found that setting clear boundaries often leads to quicker resolutions during tumultuous moments. - They Will Surprise You.
Just when I think my child-free friends might have it easier, my kids blow me away with their insights, intelligence, and love. For example, my youngest once said, “I don’t need to pee, Mama. I just need to hug and kiss and love you!” Moments like these remind me why parenting is worthwhile, even amidst the chaos.
While I don’t have all the answers to parenting’s many challenges, my confidence grows with each experience. When I stumble, I remind my kids of my love, forgive myself, and look forward to another day of learning. For more insights on family growth and wellness, check out this resource on home insemination. Additionally, if you’re curious about fertility, this site offers valuable information. For those interested in pregnancy and home insemination support, Progyny provides excellent guidance.
Summary:
Parenting is an evolving experience that requires flexibility, self-compassion, and the understanding that perfection is unattainable. By embracing the chaos, listening more, and recognizing the importance of independence, mothers can navigate the challenges of raising children effectively.