“I can’t. I have a baby.” These words escape my lips more often than I’d like to admit.
“Care for a coffee catch-up?”
“Oh, baby’s napping!”
“Dinner plans?”
“Sorry, I have to put the baby to bed.”
“Intimacy?”
“Are you serious?”
“Time for myself?”
“Yeah, right. When?”
But the reality is, I could easily wake the baby, ask my partner to handle bedtime, and allow myself to reconnect with my husband. Yet, for various reasons—some valid, some not—I often choose otherwise.
Every decision reflects a choice.
One night, while tidying up after a long day, I lamented to my partner about how much I missed my yoga routine. He simply replied, “You could still practice; you just don’t.” His words hit hard, as I realized he was right.
I could manage a quick home session, bring my baby to a Mommy and Me class, or even find an evening class. However, the effort required felt monumental compared to the ease of doing nothing and complaining about it instead. After all, my days are filled to the brim, and by evening, all I want is to relax on the couch with a glass of wine and watch my favorite show.
It really comes down to priorities.
Shortly after this conversation, I was chatting with a fellow mom who had recently returned to work. She mentioned working out during her lunch break. A wave of envy washed over me.
“I’d love to exercise,” I sighed. “But I don’t have anyone to watch the baby.”
She looked at me incredulously. “You live near great hiking trails! Just go!”
I explained how heavy my baby was to carry in a backpack, how cumbersome the jogging stroller was to retrieve from the garage, and how I had to factor in feeding and napping times. As my excuses piled up, I realized she was correct.
The next day, I went hiking. It required considerably more effort than before I had a baby, taking most of the morning instead of a quick pre-breakfast jaunt. But the experience was invigorating, and as I integrated it into my routine, I became more efficient. Motherhood may complicate things, but it certainly doesn’t make them unachievable.
It’s easy to fall into complacency.
When my in-laws visited, they insisted my partner and I have a date night. Since our baby’s arrival, we had refrained from leaving her with a sitter. However, I was comfortable leaving her with my in-laws. That said, after a long day of parenting, I felt too exhausted to shower and put on nice clothes. I told my husband I wasn’t in the mood to go out. He looked at me firmly and said, “We need this.”
He was right again. As new parents, we had neglected our relationship.
“Fine,” I said, “but I’m not dressing up.”
Of course, I dressed up. We explored a local record store, enjoyed sushi, and engaged in conversations that didn’t revolve around parenting—only to realize how strange it felt to be out without our baby. We were back home by 8:15 PM, but I woke up the next day feeling revitalized, like a capable woman rather than just a tired mom.
Every time I summon the courage to step beyond the confines of motherhood and embrace activities that reconnect me with myself, I feel whole again—even if it means stepping off that comfortable couch.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and self-care, check out this blog post and see how you can make time for yourself. Additionally, for a reliable resource on pregnancy, visit March of Dimes. If you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom provides expert guidance on the tools you’ll need.
In conclusion, while motherhood certainly introduces a host of challenges, it doesn’t make pursuing joy and balance impossible. Embrace the choices you can make to nurture both yourself and your family.