It’s nearly 10:00 p.m., and my eyelids are heavy as I correct a mistake in my latest article. My daughter calls from her room, “Mom! I’m scared! Can you come cuddle with me?” I ask my partner to step in for me. I have an article due first thing in the morning, and I need to focus before my mind turns to mush.
“But I want Mommy!” my daughter pleads.
“She’s busy working, sweetheart,” my partner reassures her.
A pang of guilt hits me. I can’t help but picture my daughter years down the line, saying in therapy, “My mom was always too busy with work.” It’s a bit melodramatic, I admit, but the guilt that comes with being a work-from-home mom is very real and something I never anticipated.
From an early age, I envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom. I thought I would work briefly, then settle down, raise kids, and devote myself to motherhood. I did work for a time, and after getting married, the arrival of our first child made it clear that staying home entirely wasn’t an option financially. So, I launched a small editing business from home, which allowed me to earn some income while maintaining my professional skills. Eventually, I sought more regular work and began online tutoring. I adjusted my schedule around my partner’s, and it all seemed to fall into place.
Fast-forward 15 years, and I’ve juggled at least seven different work-from-home roles, often simultaneously. For the most part, it has been a rewarding experience. I enjoy the flexibility of setting my own hours, being present for my kids, and contributing to the family finances. I feel incredibly fortunate to have sustained a career from home over the years.
Challenges of Working from Home
However, it’s not all easy.
Working from home means my job takes place within my personal space. There isn’t a clear division between my work life and home life, nor are there strict times when I’m “on” or “off.” While I cherish the flexibility, it can be a double-edged sword. If I lack discipline, it’s all too easy to let work and home life blur together. My work often gets done in short bursts throughout the day and night, leaving me with the sense that I’m constantly working, even if I only clock part-time hours.
I worry that my children notice this too. I’m physically home, but I’m not always fully present. They see me typing away at the computer, which doesn’t equate to “work” in their minds. All they know is that Mom can’t devote her complete attention to them.
Bless their hearts, they don’t help much in this regard. If I wake up early to get some work done, they always seem to wake up early too. If I wait until they’re asleep to start working, they inevitably call for me or want to have a deep conversation about their fears late at night.
I can retreat to my office, but you know how it is—when Mom is home, Mom is always “on duty.” I often solve this by working in coffee shops, which I love. But I can’t do that every day.
The House and the Chaos
Then there’s the house. Over the years, I’ve realized that keeping young kids engaged without excessive screen time usually results in some chaos. Busy kids equal happy kids, which allows me to work uninterrupted for a bit, but it also means more tidying up later. Laundry piles up, dust gathers on shelves, and dishes seem to multiply. While all families deal with this, when you work from home, the mess calls for your attention all day long. I’m part of the chaos and contributing to it while simultaneously feeling overwhelmed. Since work and kids take precedence, housework often gets neglected until it builds up and becomes overwhelming.
Finding the Balance
Yet, it’s not entirely negative. I never miss any of my children’s activities and enjoy plenty of quality time with them. I’ve learned to compartmentalize my time and set firm boundaries, which is a positive outcome. I’ve also had to work on not feeling guilty about working in front of my kids, although that struggle is ongoing. My partner shares the responsibilities, so ultimately, the positives outweigh the challenges.
I wouldn’t trade my work-from-home lifestyle for anything, and I am deeply grateful for the freedom it provides. However, it’s essential not to romanticize this experience. As a work-at-home mom, you get a mix of the best and worst of both worlds. For more insights about work-life balance, you may want to check out this blog post on intracervicalinsemination.com.
In summary, being a work-from-home mom offers flexibility and the joy of being present for your children, but it also comes with unique challenges like blurred boundaries and feelings of guilt. Finding a balance is key, and while it may not always be easy, the rewards can be worth it. Resources like Progyny can offer valuable information on navigating motherhood, and for more practical tools, visit Make a Mom.