Dec. 8, 2023
Throughout my life, I’ve encountered numerous labels: reserved, unfriendly, dull, even a killjoy. These assumptions often stem from my demeanor, which may not appear particularly outgoing. I might sit quietly at gatherings, decline several invitations, or choose to spend evenings at home. However, let me clarify—I’m not unfriendly; I’m simply an introvert.
As a busy mom of two young children, ages 3 and 4, finding moments to recharge is a challenge. My kids are constantly around me, chattering and needing attention. Their demands are part of their development, and I have no ill will toward them or my role as a stay-at-home mom. Yet, the energy this requires can be overwhelming, leaving me in dire need of solitary time to replenish my spirit.
Consider this scenario: My partner suggests taking the kids to the grocery store, offering me precious alone time. He even proposes stopping by his friend’s house for dinner and asks if I’d like to join. I graciously decline, and just like that, I’m branded as antisocial. It seems as though I’m opting to isolate myself rather than engage with my family.
Alternatively, if I muster the courage to attend a social event while feeling drained, I might find myself perched in a corner, nursing a drink and silently wishing to avoid conversation. I may be present at the gathering, but I’m also engaged in a delicate balancing act of self-preservation. If I push myself to socialize for the sake of appearances, my anxiety can become overwhelming, prompting an early exit. To others, it might look like I’m aloof or uninterested, but the reality is much different.
I recognize how my behavior can be perceived. It might seem as if I’m too good for certain company or that I’m judging those around me. While those interpretations may be unflattering, I’ve stopped letting them bother me. After years of reflection, I’ve come to understand the importance of self-care. Skipping a night out to recharge is ultimately more beneficial for my mental health than forcing myself to conform to social expectations.
If you think I’m unfriendly or antisocial, that’s your perspective. Deep down, I know I can be an engaging friend when I’m comfortable. I can be lively and fun, but I also respect my own boundaries and recognize when I need to recharge.
So yes, I might seem standoffish at times, but really, I’m just an introvert.
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In summary, being an introvert does not equate to being unfriendly or unkind. Understanding one’s limits and prioritizing self-care is crucial, especially for parents. Embracing your true self can lead to greater peace of mind and healthier relationships.