I genuinely believe that every child, even those as young as 3 or 4, deserves a thoughtful response to their endless “why” inquiries. It can be draining and sometimes overwhelming to address each question, yet I feel that children should receive explanations akin to how we would respond to an adult’s question.
That’s the perspective I strive for as a medical professional.
However, my heart understands that while I aim to provide answers, there are moments when I simply lack the time, energy, or even the right words to give an adequate response. In those instances, I often resort to the phrase, “Because I said so.”
Truthfully, I dislike using that phrase. It feels like I’m brushing off their curiosity, as if they don’t deserve a genuine answer. But sometimes, we just aren’t in a position to elaborate. Picture this: we’re late for a doctor’s appointment, and they ask, “Why do we have to go to the doctor?” I want to take a moment to explain how the doctor plays a critical role in keeping us healthy, providing medicine, and supporting our growth. Instead, with only a few minutes to spare, I find myself saying, “Because I said so. Now, please get in the car.”
Then there are those bedtime scenarios when, after a lengthy routine, I’m ready to say goodnight, and they chime in with, “Mom, why can’t we keep snacks in our bed?” My mind is racing with reasons — crumbs, cleanliness, and pest issues — but it’s way past bedtime, so I default to, “Because I said so,” as I close their bedroom door.
I understand the importance of articulating my thoughts and decisions to my children. This helps them learn patience and reasoning as they grow. However, the barrage of questions can be relentless, and some days, I just need a moment to breathe.
Parental authority plays a significant role here as well. As the character Eric Cartman from South Park famously states, “Respect my authority!” There are appropriate times for questions, but when I’ve already given instructions, I expect compliance instead of a barrage of “whys.” Our lives are filled with opportunities for conversation, but moments like 30 seconds before school starts are not the best for deep discussions.
Looking ahead, I hope that as my kids mature, they will ask fewer questions but with more depth and significance. A question like “Why can’t I color on the bathroom wall?” pales in comparison to “Why does my friend have two dads?” I also wish to cultivate more time and patience to respond with love and understanding. For now, my kids, being 3 and 4, must learn that there are times for inquiries, times for meaningful answers, and times to follow my lead simply because I am their parent and I said so.
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In summary, while we may not always have the time or energy to provide detailed answers, it’s important to remember that there’s a balance between parental authority and nurturing curiosity. Teaching children when to ask questions and when to trust our decisions is part of their growth.