Dear Expectant Me,
Before you dive into that Amazon baby registry, let’s take a moment to discuss some essential truths about new motherhood that I wish someone had shared with me. As you prepare for your little one’s arrival, you’ve meticulously crafted a nursery, selected the perfect layette, and researched breast pump models. You’ve analyzed car seats and swings, chosen educational toys, and even packed a birth plan in your hospital bag. You’ve covered every detail for your baby’s welcome home, but there’s one critical aspect you’ve overlooked: yourself.
Once that baby arrives, you might find yourself grappling with Self-Neglect. It’s a sly, persuasive companion that will tempt you to sacrifice your own needs for your newborn’s. Days may pass without a shower, and you’ll convince yourself that wiping baby food off your yoga pants counts as hygiene. You might shave only once a month, focusing solely on your legs, and even personal grooming may take a backseat.
Your home will transform into a chaotic mix of swaddles, pacifiers, and diapers—imagine living in a playground of misfit toys. Surfaces will be strewn with baby gear, and you might even find yourself drifting to sleep with a toy serenading you in the dark. The air will carry the unmistakable scents of baby poop and sour milk, and your car will resemble a snack explosion zone. Friends may describe you as “quirky” or “eccentric,” especially when you burst into song during their visits.
Eventually, your flirtation with Self-Neglect could morph into a full-blown relationship. You may wake up one day feeling like a stranger in your own body. This toxic presence will convince you that neglecting your own well-being is normal, whispering guilt whenever you consider taking a moment for yourself. Basic self-care, like eating and showering, will feel like indulgences rather than necessities.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. While a little flirtation with neglect is manageable, don’t let it become a permanent fixture in your life. Here’s a plan, dear younger self, to cultivate a healthier relationship with motherhood and self-care:
- Take a Minute for Yourself: Each afternoon, pause to assess how you’re feeling. Are you feeling dirty? Hungry? Lonely? If you realize that Self-Neglect has been around, take action. If you can’t manage a full shower, at least wash your face, brush your teeth, and change your shirt. Your baby won’t suffer while you take a moment for yourself. Grab a quick snack like a banana or toast, and don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend, family member, or partner.
- Evening Check-In: Every evening, take a moment to check in with your body. Is your heart racing? Are your muscles sore? If so, get outside for some fresh air, stretch, or even indulge in a relaxing bubble bath if time allows.
- Navigating Friendships: Some friendships may change during this time, especially as you manage your relationship with Self-Neglect. It’s okay to set boundaries to explore your feelings without judgment.
- Family Dynamics: You might encounter some pushback from your mother-in-law when you set these boundaries. Let your partner handle that; it’s not your burden to bear.
- Embrace Alone Time: It’s perfectly acceptable to leave your baby with someone you trust and enjoy some time alone. Head to a café for a luxurious latte, or simply meander through Target, treating yourself to things you need. Consider shopping for items like a new bra or a nice razor for those unexpected moments of self-care.
- Intimacy Matters: Make an agreement with your partner that prioritizes your pleasure first. This simple act can enhance your connection and help combat the weight of Self-Neglect.
- Occasional Indulgences: There will be times when you crave true indulgence—like devouring a bag of chips after a long day or enjoying a few margaritas after a particularly trying week. Just remember, while indulgence can provide relief, it’s essential to distinguish it from self-care, which should be a regular part of your routine.
Take care of yourself, because the future you will be grateful for the lessons learned during this season of life.
For more insights on motherhood, check out our post on self-care during pregnancy or consider visiting CDC’s pregnancy resources for valuable information. If you’re looking for reliable supplies, Cryobaby at home insemination kits could be a great option for your journey.
In summary, prioritize yourself amidst the chaos of new motherhood. It’s not just about the baby; your well-being matters too.
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