I see you glancing over as I chat with the woman behind me about our children, education costs, culinary adventures, and our aspirations. I know you’re observing the absence of a wedding ring on my finger and the sleek smartphone in my hand. I can sense your curiosity as I pull out that card from my wallet—the one emblazoned with “ASSISTANCE” in bold letters.
I understand your thoughts; I might have felt the same way when I was your age.
Look at this single mother—how can she possibly be using nutrition assistance? How can she afford a smartphone and still need help? How is she so well put together yet relying on support? How can she hold a master’s degree and still be in this position? How can her child attend a private school while receiving assistance? How does she manage extracurricular activities? How can she talk about preparing gourmet meals and still require SNAP?
You shift uneasily, unsure of how to process the situation. You call a manager and hand her the card as if it were something distasteful, whispering, “She has SNAP,” as though it were a dirty secret.
But let me share a bit about myself. Yes, I’m a single mom, and while it wasn’t my plan, I chose to end my marriage to create a better life for my son. I take pride in my appearance because it reflects self-respect. I review beauty products online, find great deals, and occasionally wear hand-me-downs.
I hold a master’s degree, a testament to my hard work, but remember, that doesn’t guarantee a high-paying job. I use my smartphone to manage work emails and attend video meetings for my full-time job, which I pursue with diligence, often late into the night. Though my salary may not be ideal, I am contributing to a growing company with hopes of launching my own venture someday. That same phone enables me to engage in online courses to enhance my skills and advance my career.
My son attends a private school because I make sacrifices. I forgo luxuries like gym memberships and salon visits to ensure he receives a quality education. He is involved in extracurricular activities because I barter my marketing skills with local businesses to provide him with enriching experiences, helping him build a positive community.
As for the abundance of groceries, I enjoy nutritious meals because I plan ahead, experiment with recipes, and make the most of what I have to keep us healthy and happy.
I hold my head high because I know my worth. At the end of the day, my son admires me, and I believe this situation is temporary. I appreciate the assistance available in our country, and I am committed to being honest and responsible with it. Just because my marriage ended doesn’t define my success or merit.
To the kind woman behind me, thank you for your understanding and patience. Your compassion makes a difference in a world where judgment is all too common.
So, to the teenager scanning my groceries, I assure you, I don’t need your pity or uninformed opinions. I hope you take the time to educate yourself about the realities of life and respect those who, like me, are working hard to provide for their families. If circumstances were different, I would choose to be self-sufficient, but I am determined to get there.
Sincerely,
A Dedicated Single Mom
Resources for Single Parents
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