To my beloved partner,
This morning, I woke up to our little one’s tiny finger poking my nose, her head firmly placed on mine, and I’m pretty sure her breath was creating a sauna effect on my forehead! I’ve spent the day with kids climbing all over me, tugging at my clothes, and sharing their sticky little hands with me. They poke, they squeeze, they sneeze, and they curl up so tightly that I have nightmarish visions of being engulfed by squids whenever I finally manage to close my eyes.
So, as much as I adore you, can we just agree to keep those dashing hands of yours to yourself for a brief moment? Mama needs some PERSONAL SPACE before I can switch from ‘Mommy’ to ‘Wifey’.
Let’s keep a few things in mind before you crank up those romantic tunes:
- It might be date night, but our kids spent a solid chunk of time today pinching my stretched-out belly button, just before I felt the baby’s diaper explosion in my hand. So let’s pump the brakes a little.
- It might be date night, but I haven’t had a moment to myself to even use the restroom today. And during my one precious bathroom break, our newly potty-trained darling followed me in and offered to help wipe! So, let’s just pause while I try to erase that adorable yet horrifying scenario from my mind.
- It might be date night, but I’m still wearing the same bra I donned yesterday, which I fell asleep in. To top it off, the baby decided my cleavage was a good place for a little spit-up. So, I could really use a moment to regroup and maybe set fire to that Victoria’s Secret catalog that’s been sitting under a sprinkle of macaroni dust on the counter.
- It might be date night, but our daughter used my arm as a tissue today, only to examine it afterward and declare it was “mashed bananas.” (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.) So, I’d appreciate it if you kept your distance until I can scrub my arm and that memory clean.
- It might be date night, but I’ve spent most of my day on my knees. And guess what? It was spent cleaning up dried spaghetti sauce, gathering a mountain of sensory beans, and scrubbing pee from the carpet. So, as enticing as my holey mom pants may be, I think I need a breather.
- It might be date night, but that wild look in my eyes is from the barrage of toys that light up, honk, or serenade us with “Let It Go” in a foreign language. So please don’t take it personally if you find me huddled in a corner, mumbling to myself instead of swooning over romance tonight.
- It might be date night, but I just spent the day in the kitchen with a child clinging to my leg, another on my hip, and the third laying on the floor in tears, demanding to be held or danced with. For dessert, I think I’ll opt for an order of silent meditation—make it a double, please.
- It might be date night, but I finally got the baby down for a nap, and I’ve already made a deal with the universe to keep her asleep this time. If she wakes up, I’ll be nursing her for what feels like forever, and let’s just say my chest is having an identity crisis right now. So, how about we keep it quiet for, I don’t know, six more hours?
I love you dearly, and you are incredibly attractive, but today our kids were so attached to me they might as well have been still inside me. I need to recharge before I can gaze into those dreamy eyes of yours and think of anything other than how wonderful it would feel to close mine and just pass out.
So for now, let’s enjoy some wine and strawberries that haven’t been chopped up. Let’s sit by the fire and reminisce about why we fell in love ages ago. Hold me close tonight and protect me from the toddler who loves to jump on my face at 3 a.m.
Thanks for being so understanding. Happy Date Night!
In Summary
While date nights can bring romance and connection, the realities of parenting often steal the spotlight. A mother’s daily challenges can make it hard to transition from caretaker to partner, highlighting the need for personal space and understanding in relationships. For more insights on navigating parenthood and the journey of home insemination, check out resources like this post and this informative guide.