As a single parent, I’ve juggled various jobs—working two or three at a time. Now that I’m married, I’ve experienced everything from full-time roles to freelancing, homeschooling, and everything in between.
Over the years, I’ve encountered individuals who assume that if you’re a stay-at-home parent (SAHP), you’re ready to step in as their backup plan. While I’m more than willing to help in genuine emergencies—like a late-night trip to the ER or a broken-down car—I’ve noticed that many requests don’t fall into that category.
- Sick Kids: If your child is unwell, keep them home. Trust me, nobody wants to share those germs. While I understand you might have work commitments, it’s simply not worth risking the health of others.
- School Breaks: School vacations are not surprises. They’re part of the academic calendar. So please, don’t panic and show up on a Sunday without a plan for daycare. Many people choose not to provide childcare, and your lack of foresight doesn’t create an emergency for them.
- Unexpected Drop-offs: Sending your child over to play and then leaving is not acceptable. This can easily lead to misunderstandings about childcare responsibilities. It’s not fair to assume that I’m available to supervise your child indefinitely.
- Making Promises: Avoid telling your child they can come over or join in on family outings without checking with me first. It puts both of us in an awkward position when promises were made without consulting the other parent.
- Volunteering My Time: If you need help baking a mountain of cookies for a bake sale or running a booth for an event, don’t assume I’m available just because I’m a SAHP. If it’s not something I’m interested in, I won’t have the time or energy to help.
- Homeschooling Requests: Asking me to tutor or homeschool your child is a big ask. It can be a legal gray area, depending on where you live, and it’s an immense amount of work. Just because I’m homeschooling my own kids doesn’t mean I can take on yours too.
I might not clock in at a traditional job, but my days are packed with homeschooling, housework, and raising my children. Don’t assume that my being home means I’m just waiting around for someone to give me tasks to fill my time.
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In summary, being a stay-at-home parent doesn’t mean you can automatically rely on them to be your backup plan. We have our own responsibilities and commitments, and it’s essential to respect that.
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