When the nurse handed me my firstborn child, I distinctly remember looking at her, feeling the effects of medication, and thinking, “How can she believe I’m ready for this responsibility?” As she briskly exited my recovery room, I gazed down at my baby and felt a surge of panic about what to do next.
Despite my efforts to prepare, I was utterly clueless about parenting. I vividly recall the bewilderment I felt while shopping for baby essentials, especially when my friend tried to explain breast pumps. Leading up to my son’s arrival, I read as much as I could, yet I still yearned for the ultimate guide—something like “I Don’t Know Anything About Babies” that never seemed to exist.
After enduring a challenging C-section recovery and grappling with postpartum depression, my initial months as a new mother were overwhelming. My body felt foreign, my emotions were on a rollercoaster, and my son seemed to reinvent the rules daily. Growth spurts, diaper issues, and endless sleepless nights led me to question my capability as a mother. Motherhood was far from instinctive for me, and I felt like I was learning under extreme pressure. And oh, how I longed for a good night’s sleep.
Now that my children are teenagers, I reflect on those early days and recognize countless lessons I would have shared with myself. While I wouldn’t want to relive the sore nipples, relentless fatigue, and endless nighttime cries, here are the key points I’d communicate to my postpartum self:
- That baby wipe warmer? Total waste of both space and money. Invest in a quality nursing bra instead.
- Budget-friendly diapers work just as well as the expensive ones. Use the savings to treat yourself to some wine!
- Don’t stress about the shower. If skipping it means enjoying a hot cup of coffee or a meal with both hands, so be it. Embrace ponytails and dry shampoo.
- Your first intimate moment after a C-section may make you question your partner, but it does improve—trust me.
- Don’t even attempt to remove breast milk stains from your clothes. It’s a losing battle; reward yourself with new outfits instead.
- Your child won’t be using a pacifier at 18. If he’s still using it at 4, it’s alright.
- The same goes for potty training. Don’t stress; he’ll figure it out.
- Memorize that sweet baby head smell. It’s a scent you’ll cherish and miss dearly.
- Savor the peaceful moments with your baby. They vanish in an instant, and soon your home will be a whirlwind of activity.
- It’s perfectly acceptable to tell your toddler that public restrooms are mythical.
- Relish the magic of being Santa and the Easter Bunny. Those moments won’t last forever, and they’ll be deeply missed.
- You’ll have regular bowel movements again, but be prepared for an audience for years to come.
- It’s okay to toss out your kids’ artwork. Keep the handprints and footprints for nostalgia; the rest? Trash it.
- While your infant’s cries might get on your nerves, one day you’ll miss that little voice.
- Get a cake for their first birthday party. No toddler remembers the effort you put into it—sleep is more valuable.
- Prioritize date nights with your partner. You’ll need that bond when the kids grow up and leave.
- Don’t always be the one taking photos. Hand the camera to your partner and get in the frame. Your kids will want to remember you, too.
- It’s normal to find your toddler frustrating at times. They can be little terrors.
- Toddler tantrums are exhausting, and you will survive them—I promise.
- You’ll find your way back to your career eventually. It might feel awkward at first, but you’ll get there.
- Be gentle with yourself daily. It’s crucial for maintaining your sanity on tough days.
- No, you cannot return the baby, but it’s okay to wish you could at times.
- Calling your best friend from the closet to vent is a valid coping strategy. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
- Remember, you grew a human being. That alone makes you incredibly strong.
- Trust your instincts if you feel something is off with your child. A mother’s intuition is powerful.
- The first bowel movement after your C-section will be an experience to remember. Stock up on stool softeners and witch hazel pads!
- If someone advises you to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” feel free to tell them to do your laundry instead.
- Avoid looking at your body in the mirror during those early months. Curiosity may lead to shock—just don’t do it.
- You will sleep again, even if it feels like you’re a ninja ready for action at night.
- You will fit into jeans again. They may not be the same size as before (that’s okay!), but you’ll rock those pants with confidence.
There are countless moments I’d change if I could. I’d encourage myself to relax, acknowledge that rigid schedules often lead to stress, and remind myself to enjoy the fleeting days. Most importantly, I’d embrace my new-mom self in a warm hug and whisper, “You’re doing just fine.”
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