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Can we skip the scale? I’m bloated more often than not, and I really don’t need those numbers reminding me about my fast food cravings. How about we just do a quick visual check and move on?
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Is there a coat rack around here? It would be so nice to have a designated spot for my clothes while I get examined. I’m tired of stuffing my undies under a pile of jeans that have likely seen a hundred other naked women.
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The date of my last period? Seriously? I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast, let alone the start of my cycle. Let’s just say it was about a month ago, and let’s get this over with.
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Can we dim the fluorescent lights? Nothing zaps a woman’s confidence faster than those harsh, glaring bulbs. It’s like a spotlight on everything I’d prefer not to see.
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Do you have a bigger cover-up than a tissue-thin sheet? I’m not a toddler; I need something that actually covers me, not just a flimsy doily. Maybe that fabric divider could work?
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If I could see the straps, I’d be more than happy to use them. Lying on my back trying to focus on anything but the examination is tough enough without fumbling around for stirrups. Just help a girl out, okay?
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Yes, I can slide down more, but I’m not keen on my backside landing on your shoes! Getting into position on that table feels like trying to land a small plane in a tight space.
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Yikes, that’s cold! Everything, from the doctor’s hands to the tools, feels like it just came out of a freezer. Can we get some warming equipment? And maybe a glass of something nice?
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Woah, it feels like you’ve tunneled to China down there! I appreciate the concern, but let’s just acknowledge that it hurts and skip the small talk about empathy. A scale of one to ten would suffice.
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Excuse me, where are my parting gifts? After all that, shouldn’t there be a little something for enduring that examination? A toothbrush from the dentist or a new pair of contacts from the eye doctor would be nice. Even a sticker would do!
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In summary, navigating a gynecological visit can be awkward and uncomfortable, but sharing a few lighthearted thoughts can make the experience easier. From the scale to the cold tools, these moments are often universally relatable.