As a mother of a toddler, it’s not uncommon to find yourself in situations where you’re comparing your child’s development with others. Perhaps you’ve been at the park, the library, or a local café when you notice another child around the same age as your own. You can’t help but listen to their words and phrases, wondering if your child is lagging behind.
I have a lively 23-month-old son named Ethan, who is brimming with energy and curiosity. In our small town of 1,000 residents, our interactions with other children often happen at church, the park, or during library events. Recently, during a trip to visit family, we encountered numerous toddlers, which prompted me to pay close attention to their chatter.
Everywhere I turned, the air was filled with the sounds of other kids speaking. At the playground, they shouted, “Look at me! Swing!” At storytime, they eagerly answered the librarian’s questions about the animals in the books. On a nature walk, they exclaimed, “Water!” And at the children’s museum, they fought over toys, declaring “Mine!” With each word I heard, I felt the weight of my son’s silence.
From the beginning, my mother has reminded me that toddlers don’t follow parenting books or developmental timelines. They grow and learn at their own pace. Ethan, for instance, didn’t crawl until he was a year old, and now, it feels even more personal that he hasn’t started to speak yet. I can’t help but feel a sense of responsibility, as a mom who adores storytelling and language. I often think I should have read to him more, enrolled him in more activities, or engaged him in conversation more frequently.
But in focusing on what he isn’t doing, I risk overlooking the incredible things he is. I see him rolling on the floor with our dog, eagerly reaching for his favorite books each morning, and laughing as he turns the pages. I watch him raise his hands in excitement during storytime, approach other toddlers with open arms, and even fold his hands to pray when prompted. I see him dash to the garden when I mention watering the plants and eagerly guide me to our cherry tomato bushes for a snack. He cheers for his dad during worship services and waves to everyone we pass. I see him pick up leaves and sticks, completely engrossed in his exploration.
By shifting my focus from what Ethan isn’t saying to the vibrant world of experiences he’s having, I realize how much he is already communicating without words. I still wonder about the speech milestones of other toddlers and hold onto the hope that he will soon express himself verbally. But in the meantime, I will cherish these moments and the unique gifts he brings to our lives.
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In summary, while it can be challenging to witness your child not meeting speech milestones, it’s essential to focus on the myriad of ways they are growing and exploring the world around them. Each child develops at their own pace, and as parents, we must remain attentive to their unique journeys.